


The Kingdom of Chaos

by DreamsInNovember



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Illusions, Loki is a butt, Mentions Panic Attacks, Post-Endgame, bucky barnes understands, end game not decided
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-01 20:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 24,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5219285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamsInNovember/pseuds/DreamsInNovember
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All you wanted to do was finish your paper for your Ancients Civilization degree, but your apartment was destroyed in the alien attack on Manhattan and it took your final draft of the 50 page document with it. Darcy hooked you up with an interview with an ancient god himself, Thor. But what happens when the tower is under attack and you get lost in the tower on your way to safety. <br/>More importantly what will happen when you meet your second Norse God of the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Interview and Illusions

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, so be nice. And if there are grammar mistakes fill free to comment about them.

Jane was glaring at her assistant. “Darcy who is she?”  
“She’s just a friend. But you shouldn’t worry she’ll only be here long enough to ask Thor some quick questions and then- poof- she’ll be gone.” Darcy said quietly while shooting Jane her signature mischief-making-face. “Oh come on. Thor, you agree with me right? I have to pay back a debt one of my closest friends.”  
Thor shook his head in agreement. “Repaying debts is an honorable cause…” Jane shot him a glare. “… but Lady Jane is right. Loki is here under maximum security. Inviting guests would put your companion in harm’s way.” He looked at Jane expectantly and when she nodded in agreement he continued smiling.  
“But Loki is in a high security vault with no way out, and her paper on ancient civilizations could really use an ancient God to clarify a fact or two.” Darcy shot Jane with her puppy-dog eyes. “Not to mention Loki is the reason her apartment was destroyed and she’s putting up in a hotel right now.”  
Darcy knew she had Thor then. He was always looking for ways to make up for the trouble Loki caused in New York. “Lady Jane, my love, I must agree with Darcy. We owe it to Darcy’s friend to honor her with at least the time it takes to interview me.”  
Jane sighed, “When this goes downhill, don’t come crying to me.” She picked up her papers, and kissed Thor on the cheek. “I’ll be in the lab with Bruce.” Before she could leave the room, Darcy tackled Jane with an excited hug.  
“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’ll go get her.” Darcy rushed off into the lobby to pick up her long time friend [y/n].  
You’re POV  
Darcy was your savior. After the alien attack of New York your apartment was smashed and you had to move into a small apartment, you flash drive. It had the final draft of your ancient civilization paper and a good third of your sources. When you went crying to Darcy, because she was always there, she offered to hook you up with the Thor Odinson.  
Darcy was taking a long time and as you were sitting in the hallway you couldn’t help but wonder if Darcy actually made you an appointment or if she just brought you here. It’s something she would do. When you were freshmen in college, Darcy took you to a cool party.  
You almost shot her a text to tell her she shouldn’t bother trying, but she was already running back to you with her mischief-managed smile. “Right this way Ms. [y/l/n].”  
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes ate her fake assistant voice, but you stood up and followed her into the elevator. She took you up to the top floor. It was modern, stylish, and everything you expected from a multimillionaire. There was even soft music playing in the background. Before you could full take in the beauty of the room, you heard a loud, booming voice.  
“You must be Lady Darcy’s companion, [y/n]. I am Thor son of Odin, and prince of Asgard.” Thor was smiling brightly at you and you almost fainted. He was tall, gorgeous, and his blue eyes where hot enough to burn. Despite the practice and preparation you had done for this interview, you were speechless.  
“I-I… Yes, I’m [y/n]. Nice t-to meet you.” Darcy put an arm on your shoulder for support. You looked at her worried-how the hell were you suppose to get through a meeting with him if you couldn’t even say hi-and she gave you an encouraging smile and pushed you towards him. You stumble into Thor and in that moment you pledge to kill Darcy when you get the chance.  
He effortlessly caught you and straightened you up. “Let us begin Lady [y/n].” He led you to the couch and after getting yourself together you start your interview. The further into the interview you got the less stressed you were. Thor reminded you of your next door neighbor’s puppy from your childhood. He answered every question and even offered you “one of earth’s finest delicacy,” Pop tarts. Thirty minutes had passed by the time you finished you questions. As he finished describing the ninth realm of elves, an alarm went off and the playful golden retriever turned into a creature ready to war. “Lady [y/n] you may want to exit the building. If I can be of assistance to your paper, send for lady Darcy.”  
As if to punctuate the intensity of the conversation, his hammer mjolnir flew to his hand. You shock your head in agreement, gathered your stuff, and ran out of the door. You run towards the stairs- you didn’t want to risk getting stuck in the elevator- but the door labeled stairs lead to a long hallway. You ran down it only to find that at the end of the hallway was another hallway labeled stairs. At this point you were screaming bloody murder seconds away from a panic attack. To make matters worse, when you tried to turn around and find Thor, the door was locked.  
You were sobbing; you didn’t do well under pressure and by the way the hallways were caving in you were already having a panic attack. You were about to sit down when you hear Darcy. You knew she had to be in trouble because Darcy screams for nothing, and it forced you to pick yourself off the ground and keep moving forward.  
In a desperate effort to reach Darcy you turn corner after corner, run down hallway after hallway and end up outside of a containment cell. Inside the cell sat a devilishly handsome man with long dark hair, and a smirk that could kill, but you weren’t here for him. You look around this bare and empty room where only you and this man stood separated by, what appeared to be, glass.  
“Where is Darcy?” You tried to sound tough, but the tears you had shed just seconds ago hadn’t finished drying off your cheek. Your pathetic attempt at intimidation just amused the handsome strange even more.  
“Mortal. Mortal. Mortal. Do you believe me to be a common animal? Easily frightened by your fragile facade?” He stood up and walked toward the glass separating the two of you. You couldn’t help but take a step back in fear. “Don’t worry young mortal. Today I will make you a deal if would so kindly open the lock set me free, I will assist you in saving this Darcy thing.” His voice was like ice dipped in honey, sweet yet calculating.  
You didn’t trust him, but you could still hear Darcy’s screams.  
You were about to completely ignore his offer and walk away without a world when you heard footsteps behind you. Out of nowhere a giant blue monster came crashing into the room. It had a club in its hand and it rushed at you. You dogged the best you could. “Are you sure you won’t take me up on my offer [y/n]?” Good god you’re starting to hate his handsome face.  
You run towards the lock and the stranger meets you on the other side of his cage. “What is the code, and hurry before that THING kills me?” He quickly gave you instructions on how to free him. However, the second he stepped free the giant monster, Darcy’s screams, and the sound of the alarm all vanished.  
“You’re a smart mortal. Quick witted and appealing to the eye. I hope my terrors didn’t give you too much of a fright. I wouldn’t want to give you one of those- what are they… Oh panic attacks.” You dropped to the floor in confusion as the tall, lean man heads towards the door.  
“Who are you?”  
“An Intelligent lady like you should know by now?” God you defiantly hated his stupidly handsome face. “I am Loki the god of mischief and deceit.” He turned to give you one last wink. “And I will see you again my little moral.”


	2. Super-Soldiers and Disney Movies

Darcy found you on the floor a good while later. You were curled up in a ball about to cry. “Thor, I found her.” Darcy dashed to your side. “Why aren’t you- I don’t know -gone? And where is Loki? OMG WHERE IS LOKI?” You were shaking, and Darcy’s panicking wasn’t calming at all. By the time Thor came storming in you were even more freaked out than when Loki was in the room.  
“Oh good, Lady [y/n] has been found. WHERE IS LOKI?” You winced.  
“I’m sorry. I heard Darcy scream-and then there were giants. He said he would help.” You stammered on.  
“AND YOU BELIEVED HIM?” You hadn’t seen Darcy this mad since high school.  
“I didn’t know who he was, the walls were closing in, my best friend sounded like she was being Friday the 13th massacred, and HE SAID HE COULD HELP.” You hated fighting but you really couldn’t put up with her sarcastic A-holiness right now. “What was that alarm anyway?”  
“My brother Loki sent for one of his Asgardian patron to set off the alarm.” Thor was taking Loki’s escape quite well. “I am sorry that my brother has because you such stress Lady [y/n]. My brother’s allusions could bring any man or woman to their knees.” At his words you calmed down. “Now let’s get you to the kitchen and get you a cup of liquid chocolate.” You couldn’t help but smile at his kindness.  
“Thank you Thor. And I’m sorry that I let your psychotic, murderous brother out of his cage.” You follow him out of the prison room, but not before you turn your head towards Darcy and give her a playful, apologetic I-Win face.  
* * * *  
The Avengers didn’t think that it was a good idea to let you leave for the night. You still looked a bit shaken, and they were sure Fury would have questions for you tomorrow. You didn’t mind too much. The Avengers guest rooms were a lot better than the hotel room you had been staying since the attack on New York, and it was getting pretty late. You weren’t too excited about your shield interrogation tomorrow, but you understood. You had let an extremely dangerous man free.  
You decided not to think about it and grabbed a towel so you could get in the shower. The bathroom was high tech and expensive looking so you took you sweet time testing all the different buttons. There was even an mp3 wireless hook up so that you could play your tunes through a shower speaker. If this is the guest rooms, I wonder how Mr. Stark’s shower was. When you finally stepped out of the bathroom you through on a robe and went to find your clothes.  
Before you could start searching for your clothes, a voice came from nowhere, “Ms. [L/N], your clothes have been taken to wash, new clothes will be delivered soon.” You screamed. Where the Hell did that voice come from. Oh God it must be him again. You heard footsteps outside your door, and then it opened up to reveal to extremely handsome men.  
“Is someone wrong ma’am,” the blond man with enough muscles for 10 men said as he scanned the room. “We heard screaming.” The other man had long black hair, and one of his arms looked like it had been covered in aluminum.  
“Stay back,” You yelled. This Loki character was messing with you again. He had to be no man was that hot, and there definitely weren’t to men that hot. “You’re another illusion right?”  
“No ma’am, I’m Steve Rogers,” the blonde said. “This is my friend James.” He pointed towards aluminum arm.  
They were still too hot to be real. “I don’t trust you, but if you’re real please find the man that was talking to me.” By the look on their face you could tell they thought you were crazy. “There was a voice… a British dude. I swear I heard him,” now you thought you sounded crazy.  
You could feel the tears of frustration building behind your eyes, so you did what any sane woman in your situation would do. You dropped onto the floor and started crying. You shocked the hell out of hotty one and two, but as far as you knew they were illusions anyway.  
The one with the long black hair, James you think, took a step forward. “Do you mean Jarvis?”  
“What?” You looked up at him.  
“Jarvis is a British butler that is- what do they call it Steve.”  
“Artificial Intelligence,”  
“So you aren’t illusions. And the Green Eyed Ass-hat hasn’t driven me crazy.” James laughed and Steve looked slightly shocked.  
“I like you doll. Do you mind if I come in?” You nodded, and James came in and set down on the comfy looking love seat in your room. Steve followed suit and sat in next to James. You decided to sit on your bed, a comfortable distance from the men. “What’s your story sweetheart?”  
“I’m a graduate student. I’ve been working on my masters in Classic Civilization and Interpreting Mythology. Darcy said that she could get me an interview with Thor, which would help because my computer and the paper on it were destroyed in the Alien attack. Then some alarms went off then one thing lead to another and know a homicidal Norse trickster is free and it’s kinda my fault.” Both the boys listened intensely. “That’s enough on me, what about you two?”  
Steve spoke first. “I was a soldier in the 1940s, and I fought in WWll against Hydra and the Nazis. Ended up flying a plan into the ice, and S.H.E.I.L.D. thawed me out recently. I didn’t have a place to go so I stayed here.” You shook your head. You couldn’t help but think that this should sound familiar, but whatever if it was important you’ll remember it eventually.  
“I was a soldier in WWll too. I got captured by Hydra, and was their push pins for a few years, and then I was an assassin, and now I’m not an assassin. Steve said I could stay here.” His story was the shortest, but you kind of guessed that it was the saddest too. “Oh and I lost my arm,” he said while lifting the metal arm, and you could see that it had a single red star painted on it.  
“That makes sense,” the two look at you confused. “I mean it looked like your arm was covered in aluminum foil. It makes more sense for it to be metal.” While James relaxed again, they both gave you an amused smirk.  
Before you could say anything else to make you look like the weirdest human alive, Darcy walked into the room. “[y/n], I grabbed some clothes from your hotel room - thank god it was close by.” When she saw you sitting on the bed with two handsome men across from you she smirked. “But it looks like you won’t need them.”  
OH DEAR LORD FROM ABOVE. You were still in your robe. You shot up like a firecracker and headed towards Darcy and your clothes. Steve was even more flustered than you - you guess he hadn’t noticed either – while James and Darcy started laughing like there was no tomorrow. With my clothes in hand and heading towards the bathroom, I could hear Steve explaining to Darcy exactly why they were here and how it had nothing to do with sex.  
When you were dressed and ready to face the embarrassment of what just happened, you walked out and say Darcy sitting comfortably on your bed while the two boys were chatting.  
“Good, now that we are all here – and completely clothed – let’s do something fun.” Darcy said patting your bed.  
“Like what?” You plopped down on beside next to Darcy on the bottom of the bed.  
“Movies, let’s make it something classic for the boys.”  
“Disney?”  
“Disney!”  
The hotties share a look, “Disney..?”  
Darcy grabs a small remote, and a flat screen TV drops down from the ceiling. “Every person needs to watch Disney; it makes up about half of basic pop culture. Which should we show them?”  
“Good god this room is amazing, and you know I’m biased towards Mulan 1 and 2.”  
“Mulan it is.” She said while she continues to mess with the remote. “Captain, Buck, get on the bed.” They both share another confused look than slowly sat at the top of the bed. You spent the next two hours reenacting scenes from the movie, and dramatically lip syncing with Darcy to your favorite songs until the both of you were beat. After Mulan, Darcy played Bambi because you hadn’t watched it either. By the end of Bambi, you were sandwiched between James and Steve while the three of you pretended not to cry, and Darcy was maniacally laughing at your shared pain.  
When Darcy started playing Aristocats, I fell asleep.


	3. New Boy

_There was a man towering above me. He suited in full battle armor, and had an eye-patch on one of his eyes. I had never seen anything like him before, but my people had abandoned me. When he smiled down at me, it reminded me of something that I couldn’t put my finger on, but it made me happy._

  
_Thor was nice to me. He is a bit pushy, but he means well. He cares. We may not be into the same things, but we even came to an agreement: if he let me play my "games" I'd practice with him and his friends._

_Mom loves me. She always cared for me. Smiled with me and on the occasion that Thor was sore with me, she would always let me hid behind her dress or under her chairs. I love my mom._

_Father. I love him, but all father did was look at Thot. Sometimes I swear that he hates me. I saw the way he treated Thor, and he never treated me like this. Just today I went through the trouble of not only convincing the dwarfs to fashion everyone new weapons, but I had gotten mom new creature’s to care for as an early birthday gift, and yet the banquet is being thrown for Thor because he won in the Arena again. One day father will look at me like he does Thor._

  
_I’m not his son. I'm not her son. I'm not his brother._

  
_I belong to no one._

_It can’t end like this. Thor shouldn’t be the one getting father’s affection again. It wasn’t fair. I was going to start a war, but only a small one. A war that wouldn’t effect Asgard’s well-being. Father would punish me just like he did Thor, and he would tell me why he hated me then I could finally fix myself. But no, here I am in a prison. I should have known that father wouldn’t treat me like Thor. Why would he treat the enemy’s bastard like he would his real son?_

_I thought I could change things. Maybe I could impress Odin, but now I'm left with my illusions._

_I am truly alone._

 

  
“Wake up. Wake up. [y/n] your sleeping please wake up.” You opened your eyes to see Darcy shaking you awake.  
“What are you doing,” you said swatting Darcy’s hands off of your sholders.  
“You tell me. I wasn’t the one who started crying in her sleep.”  
“I had a dream about the tall, dark, and psychotic. I think.” You knew.  
“What was it about?” You jumped when you heard Steve’s voice. You hadn’t notice that Steve and James were still here.  
“I had a dream about him and Thor when they were younger, but I don’t remember the details… I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be, doll. You haven’t done anything.” You gave James a smile.  
But Darcy never knew when to shut up. “Except let- what did you call him- tall, dark, and deadly lose again.”  
You shot her yet another glare. “It was tall, dark, and Psychotic for your information. And next time you invite me to an interview, please warn me about the lunatic in the closet.” Darcy huffed in reply.  
When you turned back to the Hotties in your temporary room, you had to hold back a laugh. They both looked terrified, like you were about to pull out a sword and attack Darcy for her offenses. While the idea had crossed your mind, you still loved Darcy too much to pull a sword on her without warning.  
You were going to comment on their faces when you were hit with sudden realization. “What time is it?”  
Darcy pulled out her phone, “8:32.”  
“Good God, I’m going to be late.” You jump off of the bed and run towards to the pile of clothes Darcy brought you. Once you had it in hand you ran to the bathroom to get dressed in record time, and ran out of the room grabbing you bag on the way. “Bye guys. See you later Darcigator.”  
“After a while, Crocodile.” You heard Darcy yell as you ran towards the elevator.

* * *  
You got to your Medieval Greek class just in time. In the seat in front to you there was someone you had never met before. The class was big, and you didn’t know everyone so you let it go. However, you couldn’t help but notice that he was tall and pale. You spent that whole class period wondering who he was, and staring at the back of his head.  
You next class was Northern Europe Mythology. The class that started this whole mess with its 50-page essay on a theory of mythology origin in northern Europe. Out of all of your mythology classes you disliked this one the most. Northern Europe held no interest to you, and you would much rather spend your time studying Ancient Greek and Roman costumes and cultures, but the degree you were going for and the job you wanted both required you be well rounded in your ancient civ. Knowledge.  
You went to the teacher, Mr. Smithfield, to talk to him about your interview. You had already told him about your problems with your paper, and he was very understanding.  
“Ms. [y/l/n/], is there something I can do for you.” Mr. Smithfield was distracted by whatever paper he was reading at the moment.  
“I got an interview with Thor yesterday.” He put down his paper “Things got a bit strange, but I did meet him and talk about the spread of Norse mythology, and how Asgardians view their species and so on and so forth.” The look on his face was priceless. “I have a recording of our interview, and written notes, but I wanted to ask for a few more days on my extension so that I can rewrite my paper.  
“Of course, Of course take all the time you need.” He was smiling from ear to ear. “However, I am going to ask you to turn in your interview notes, and recording. This is a big breakthrough in mythology decoding.” Your teacher was all but dancing at his desk. “I will of course give you full credit for your interview and paper. Actually I’ll do better than that. I think I’ll try and get you an internship in a prominent museum research company.” You were on cloud nine.  
“Oh my God thank you!”  
“Don’t thank me; thank whoever got you that interview.”  
You nodded and walked to your seat in the back of the class. When you got settled into your regular seat, you noticed that mystery man was sitting next to you. And he was hotter than you had imagined. His black hair and pale skin made the green in his eyes pop, and his face was beautifully designed. He gave off a familiar air of frailty, like if you reached out to touch him he would fade away.  
His voice was also familiar, like honey, but when you tried to pin it, your mind would melt. And that accent was intoxicating. “Dear lady, isn’t it common knowledge here that it’s rude to stare.” You could feel the heat in you cheeks.  
“Sorry I didn’t mean to… I just-I-I don’t know.” WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF A BRAIN IF IT SHUTS OFF WHEN YOU NEED IT?  
“I take no offense. My name is Laufey, and I happened to hear of you success with your paper. Who was the man you interviewed again?”  
“Hello, Laufey, I’m [y/n], and I met Thor Odinsion of Asgard. He’s a friend of a friend.” You said  
“Really? Well what did you think of him?”  
“I guess I would say big, Loud, good looking, and smart. He was very funny, and his girlfriend is lucky to have him.” You knew the smile was returning to your face. “But I could say that about everyone I met that day except red-eyes.”  
Laufey’s eyebrows rose at your words.  
“I mean he was cruel, heartless, and manipulate. If I live three live and never see him again, it would be too soon.”  
Laufey gave you small shrug.”Fair enough.”  
“But that’s enough about me, why haven’t I seen you around before?”  
“I normally sit on the other side, but someone stole my seat in Greek, and I stumbled upon a pretty lady. So when I found out that we had the same Northern Religion class, I decided to sit next to her. I actually didn’t know what I would say to her, but then I caught her staring, and I seized the opportunity.” Laufey is smooth AF. You would have kept the conversation going, but class started so you pulled out your notebooks, and got ready to take some notes.  
Halfway through the class I piece of paper flew on my desk. I looked at Laufey who was smiling devilishly at me. When I opened it I saw the most beautiful handwriting in the world.

_**Can we go for ice cream after this or maybe I can walk you home. (Lets hang out)** _

You scribbled down a response.

**_I like Ice Cream_ **

When he read the response, he gave you a grin Made of pure sin. You put it on your list of things to thank God for next Sunday, and went back to taking notes.

*       *     *

"Mint is clearly the superior flavor." Laufey said eyes daring me to contradict him. 

"Bull. The best flavor is strawberry cotton candy or strawberry blue moon. Mint chocolate chip is disgusting." You tried to match the intensity of his stare, but you couldn't help but laugh. 

Aruging with Mr. Accented Beauty about ice cream. really? After class, the two of you set course for the closest ice cream shop. It was Laufey's last class until 2 and you wouldn't be needed here for an hour so all was clear. 

"I don't think that's a flavor." 

"Of course it is. Just mix strawberry ice cream with blue moon or cotton candy and you get heaven in a cone" 

"OK silly girl. I'll try your ice cream, but I know that mint will trump any flavor you throw it's way."

We ended up in your favorite ice cream stop across from the school. They had the best blue moon cotton candy in the world, and as soon as Laufey tasted it his eyes raised then he grimaced.

"I admit defeat. Unfortunately this strawberry blue moon is beyond other ice cream." He looked honestly devastated at his lost, and you failed yet again to control your laughter. 

You would have stayed like this until class started, but all of a sudden Laufey saw something over your shoulder and bolted out of his chair. 

"I'm sorry dear for leaving in such a hurry, but I'll be on my way for today." He gently took your hand and kissed it.

"We should meet up again." You said as you stood up. 

"I agree. Until next time dear." He gave you one last smile, and then he walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I've said this before, but if you see any mistakes or have any advice feel free to comment and I'll fix it.  
> And also comment just to comment.


	4. I didn't volunteer as tribute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school has officially started for me. It will be a bit more difficult for me to write, but this is my first story so it's not like my attention is split between something else. i'll try and keep it regular and as quick as I can.  
> And as always you can leave me messages down in the comments. I really appreciate your opinions and comments.

_Why won’t he kill me?_  
_It felt like my body would be torn apart, and just when you thought that maybe he’d go too far, he stops. You had been hurt before, but it never felt like this. The agony was being carved into your bones, some days figuratively and others literally. A pain so real, and dark that you there would be no way to describe it. There no yell loud enough, lost enough, to express this pain. There was no illusion strong enough to dull it._  
_The worst part was that you knew that even when he was done. You’d carry the unexplainable memories, the pain and the torture. And when you were alone you’d relive it._  
_Why had this happen to you?_  
_It’s because he caught you floating out in the wild lost. After everything you did to protect your home, your family. The only one that still loved you thought you a criminal and the ones you tried to protect drove you over the edge. They drove you into this._  
_What did he want?_  
_He wanted you play into your darker nature, and he wants you to cause pure chaos. He wanted you to find the darkness within and unleash it on everyone. He was going to carve everything good out of you and then send you back into the world._  
_How long has it been?_  
_Hours? Months? You’d lost track of time._  
_When would it stop?_  
_Never_

 

“Miss! Miss! [y/n] wake up!” Steve had you by the shoulders. Or at least you thought it was Steve, you couldn’t see through the tears in your eyes. “[y/n] what happened?”  
“It hurt.” You tried to lift your hands you wipe away the tears, but they wouldn’t move. “Steve I can’t move. STEVE MY ARMS!”  
“That’s me [y/n]. Your hands are bleeding, and you don’t need blood in your eyes.” You stopped struggling. “Good. Buck go get a towel. You are going to be fine.”  
“Steve it hurt. It still does. It hurts so much.” You could feel your hands being cleaned, while Steve wiped tears from your eyes. “I don’t know what that was or who, but he hurt me because he wanted me to do something - God it still hurts.”  
“It must have been Loki. Don’t worry we’re right here, and your hands are fine. It just looks like your nails broke the skin. Nothing serious.” Steve smiled down at you. You could see James with a bloody towel in his hand.  
You sat yourself up. “I’ll be fine now.” Steve nodded at you then motioned for him and James to leave. James lifted up the towel then walked to your bathroom. “Thank you Steve.” He flashed one more smile before he left.  
Then James walked back in. “You’re lying.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean you’re lying. You’re not going to be ok, but that’s alright.” He came and sat down next to you. “If you keep it up, you can join the ‘Steve-worries-about-you-club’ I’m the founding member with Nat and Sam backing me up, but new members are always welcomed.”  
“So what if I’m not ok. That just means I’ll fake it until I am.”  
The look on James’s face was said he called your bull, but he didn’t say anything. “Well if that’s it than you I’ll be on my way.” He got up and turned towards the door.  
“James!” You didn’t need to see him to know he’s smiling.  
“Yes?”  
“If you’re not busy, please stay.” He turned around and sat back on your bed. You move to make room for him when he grabbed you shoulders. “What are you doing?”  
“There is something on your back. It looks like a pattern.”  
“What?”  
“Stand up.” You stood up with James help. God why were you still so shaky? “It’s all over you back. Did you know about this?”  
“No.” You sounded so weak, and you knew you were about to cry. Again.  
“Ok don’t worry. I’ll call Thor.”  
* * *  
“She’s Loki’s Tribute.” Thor said.  
“I’m so damn tired of the word ‘What.’ Isn’t there another word that could be used to describe how completely done I am with my life?” You were livid. “How does this even happen.”  
“Do not fear Maiden, tributes are favored humans. Worry not Lady [y/n]. Your marks look small and underdeveloped. As long as you remain distant from Loki, they should begin to fade. I would advise you spend your days in the tower.” You shook your head in agreement. “However it is quite unusual for a bond like that to occur without intent of frequent contact.”  
Bruce continued to examine the mark that reached from your back to your left hand. “We are going to have to notify the rest of the team.” He said as he lifted your arm. “Thor do the marks have any side affects?”  
“You share certain base emotions with your patron, and if the bonds become more permanent you can draw from their power.” Bruce dropped my arm as he walked to his computer. “Normal bonds require the patron and tribute willingly participating in courtship-like process.  
“The patron offers their power, and the tribute receives it. Then the patron provides food, shelter, and other kind gestures until the tribute is sure of their ability to provide. Once the tribute considers the patron worthy, they will fight and win in the name of their patron. After that the tribute can freely draw on their patron’s powers. That is as long as both parties are satisfied.” Thor frowned as he spoke. “I am unsure of what my brother wishes to come from this, but patrons are meant to be a strong bond of kinship between asgardians and other beings.”  
You let out a sigh. “So I don’t have to die or anything like that?” Thor shook his head. “Good. By the way, what time is it?”  
Bruce looked at his computer. “7:24 a.m., why?”  
You jumped off the exam table and threw on your shirt. “Got to get to school, but don’t worry. I know not talk to any egomaniacs dressed in green.”


	5. Egomaniac Dressed in Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You just can't get a break can you? First your apartment is destroyed taking half of your essay with it, then your interview with Thor (yep the god himself), turned into a jailbreak and you were the one breaking, now this. The only good thing in your life at this moment seems to be the new friends you've made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys. Sorry it took me so long to make this chapter. I kinda hit a wall as to how I want to get the story from point A to point B, but I'm working through it.   
> In this story I've decided to add in a little of Loki's Norse background to spice things up. here's what you need to know.  
> Loki has three confirmed kids with a giantess. Hel (ruler of Norse underworld), Fenrir (a blood thirsty wolf), Jormungand (a really big snake that wraps itself around the world), but he also has twin sons with his wife Sigyn. One son got turned into a crazed wolf and killed the other son so that the god's could bind Loki. Their names and stories vary, but that leaves me room to be creative.

You dashed up the stairs of your university, and barreled down the hallways until you found your classroom. If you were being honest, you weren’t late for class. You had about thirty minutes to spare, but you wanted to spare them with Laufey. You stopped outside of your classroom to catch your breath before you walked into the classroom.

And there he was. Sitting on his desk, turned towards the door, and reading a book. As you walked towards him you saw that it was the complete Edger Allen Poe Poem Collection. When you got close enough to him, he lifted his head to smile at you.

“What’s up with the book Lau?” You sat on your desk facing him.

“I’m behind on my gothic literature reading, and we’re having a lecture today.” He put his book down. “But I can read later. How have you been?”

“I’d like to say I’ve been worse, but ‘the truth will set you free,’ so.” You knew you couldn’t get into the gritty details with him, but you wanted to vent.

“Set you free from what? Thinking you’re more than what you are.” You gave a good natured sigh in response to his comment, because it was true. “Anyway would you like to go out for lunch? As the winner of the ice cream debate, you can choose where we go and I’ll pay.”

“I wish I could, but I’m in a new apartment and my landlord has some strict house-keeping rules. I need to be home right away.” You genuinely wanted to go with Laufey, but rules were rules. It didn’t help that he had the most hurt puppy look you ever seen.

“It’s fine. I understand.” He said as before he slide off his desk and into his seat. The look of defeat on laufey’s face was killing you. _Don’t give in. Don’t give in._

“But I heard we have an exam next week in this class, so if you’d like to study at the pizza place close by I’d have to say yes.” You shot Laufey a smirk as you slide of your desk. “You know, for my education.” He smiled.

“Well I guess there is a little mischief in you after all.” He said smiling at you.

Laufey spent the whole of your class time together catching up on his assigned reading. You spent the whole of the class period taking top notch notes for your study date, because Laufey would need them for next week’s exams.

*                                                                     *                                                             *

“I don’t understand. How can you be married to a man that doesn’t know you exist?” You laughed as Laufey took a bite of his slice of pizza. Our notebooks were scattered on our table forgotten in the glory of the food.

“Well we aren’t married. Oscar Issac is my space lover, but my real husband is Dick Grayson a.k.a. Nightwing.” He shot you another confused look.

“So it’s acceptable to marry fictional characters, and cheat on them with famous actors.”

“Of course not! Cheating is wrong. I only dated Oscar because Nightwing and I were between issues.” Laufey gave you a nod as if he finally understood your crazy fandom logic. You weren’t fully aware of how a discussion on Edger Allen Poe’s disturbing life turning into a story of your nonexistent love life. “Laufey you are so funny. I should introduce you to Darcy.”

“If she is half as cute, smart, and enchanting as you, I would be thrilled to meet her.” You felt your cheeks warm up and an obvious smile form. Laufey has been hitting on you in the cutest ways the entire day, and it has you at wits end. He would complement you, touch your hand, and give you a well placed smile, and you could do nothing but sit in your seat stuttering.

“Well.. s-s-she is prêt..ty cool. I-I mean I like her.” God could you be more flustered. You looked up at Laufey hoping he wouldn’t be too disillusioned by your unintelligible babble. Instead he was smirking at you, as if he was proud of how aware he made you. _Well two can play this game._

You boldly reached your hand towards his with the intent to lightly brush a strand of hair from his face. Instead you knocked over your soda, and Laufey’s notebook got covered in Orange Fanta. _OK only one play this game._

Fortunately for you Laufey laughed it off, and helped you clean up the mess. However, your waitress didn’t seem half as pleased with the mess you were making. The rest of what had been an amazing date turned into Laufey giggling at you every couple of seconds, and you eating your pizza in defeat.

When you were both done eating, Laufey paid for the meal and you two started walking to the university. Unfortunately it started raining, and you had no umbrella.

Laufey gave your shoulder a gentle nudge, “Do you have anymore classes?”

“No, I just need to get to my bike.”

“Well how about we stop by my house, and wait the rain out?” You knew that you had already been away from the tower long enough.

“Sorry Laufey, but strict house rules, and I’ve already broke enough of them today.” There goes the kicked puppy look again. You wouldn’t let it get you this time.

And in your defense it wasn’t the puppy dog look that took you down. It was his singing. It started out as quite humming, but he got louder and louder as we walked the corner. Eventually I could hear that he was singing in a different language, but I didn’t know which. Then he gave me one last hopeful smile and pointed to the top of one of the apartment buildings on the street. The combination of his good looks and singing voice had me convinced to follow him anywhere, but the fact that he spoke a foreign language… Well let’s just say I put it on the things to thank the lord for.

When you finally agreed to go with him, his entire face lit up. The two of you shuffled into the lobby, only stopping so that Laufey could talk to his neighbors. When you got in the elevator, it took you to the top floor. As soon as the elevator opened it felt like an entirely different building. While the lower levels were nicely decorated and high class, this section of apartments looked as if they were specifically tailored to a billionaire’s preference.

Laufey continued walking down the hall as if nothing was different, but you couldn’t help look at every picture and every sculpture. You quickly realized that these posters depicted Norse mythology. Pictures of Hel, serpents, and frost giants were all over the wall, but the biggest sculpture was of two young men that appeared to be twins. It was at the end of the long hallway.

The closer you got the more amazed you were. The stone was carefully chiseled so that the two boys looked as if any second they would start to move; and the similarity between the two were uncanny. The only differences between the two were a slight height difference and one had a small scar on his left cheek.

Laufey had already opened the door to a certain room, but he had walked back to admire the statue with you. “Who are they?”

“Oh come on [y/n], you know your mythology who do you think they are.” You looked up at him, and you saw that his usually ever amused look in his eyes were replaced by a look of regret and anger.

“Well that depends on the mythology. If it were roman, I’d say it were Remus and Romulus. The twins who were raised by wolves and the founders of Rome, but your hallway seem is decorated in a Norse theme. I guess they might be the unknown son’s of Sigyn.” You look back at them. “I think their names were Vali and Nari.”

“Yes. They were the son’s of Loki. The only two sons Loki was allowed to keep. The other Asgardians had labeled his elder three kids monsters, and then as punishment for one of his crimes they forced one of his twins to kill the other, and bound him with his internal organs.” You could feel the hatred falling off Laufey in waves.

While you still hated Loki, you could understand his disdain for anyone that would side with asgardians. You could have stayed and looked at the faces of the statue all day, but your phone began to vibrate. That was enough to knock you out of your trance.

It was Darcy’s number. She was probably worried that you hadn’t come home yet. You look up at Laufey who was still staring sadly at his statues before you walked towards the door that he had opened for you earlier and answered your phone.

“Where are you?”

“I’m at a friend’s house. We were studying for class, but it started to rain. I’m sorry.”

“Really [y/n]. You find out that some a god is trying to make you his chosen one, and you decide to have a sleepover?”

“Chill out. I’ll come back when the rain lets up. And anyway weren’t you the one that said I needed to look into getting a boyfriend.”

“Oh is this the hot one for Northern Euro Mythology you were telling me about.”

“Yes and hot is an understatement. I’m at his house and it looks like a museum. This place is like a dream castle.”

Apparently hot guys with decoration skills to die for counted as a good excuse for breaking Avenger. “Ok. I’ll try and calm the old men and Bruce, but you have to stay safe and give me all the details when you get home. Got it?”

“I got it.” You could hear Steve in the background asking for the phone so you hung up before he could talk her out of covering for you, and just in time too because Laufey started walking you way.

“There should be some clothes that you might be able to fit in the closet over there, and there is a bathroom next to it. Do whatever it takes to get comfortable and I’ll start a movie and make us some popcorn” You nodded and shuffled off to the closet he had pointed at.

This was probably the best date you’ve been on in a while. And Laufey was probably the most interesting guy at your school. This was going to be fun.


	6. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO MORE!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated between you and Laufey. Or at least they would have if a certain crime fighting due hadn't have ruined the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been sponsored by the Snowpocalypse of 2016. (have no classes gave me time to focus on this little thing) unfortunately that also means that I was so amazed by the snow that I did not proof read this at all. So enjoy the plot, misspelled words and grammar mistakes.
> 
> There is also a part in this chapter, where the reader gets scared by some gun action. Hopefully my story placement takes an edge of the fear factor, because I'm not here to trigger anyone.

After you changed clothes, you met Laufey who was sitting on an expensive, black sofa in front of a giant TV with popcorn on his lap. You set down beside him while he searched for the perfect movie.

This man really did seem perfect. He laid back on the coach with his feet up on his foot rest. He had a filled a silver bowl with popcorn, and it laid on his lap. I burrowed myself into his side, and he wrapped a hand around my shoulders. He ended up picking a thriller movie about werewolves. At first we were both quietly watching the movie until Laufey said, “Nice choice in clothes.”

You looked down at the shirt you were wearing completely aware that it was his. You had thrown on a pair of green running shorts and the comfiest looking grey sweater you had ever seen in your life. The sweater—like the man it belonged to—didn’t disappoint.

“Really? This old thing?” you waved your hand sarcastically. When you looked back at Laufey, he was giving you one of his very rare smiles. Laufey smirked like no other. It seemed to be his default setting, but in this was the first time he genuinely smiled at you. You made sure to mentally note every detail in his face.

“No, I’m serious it looks amazing.” He let go of my shoulder so that he could give me a dramatic pondering face. “Here just let me fix one thing,” he grabbed the bottom of your shirt and pulled it over your head. When it was completely off, he threw it on the floor, and gave you one of his sinful smirks. “Now it’s perfect.” And with that, he moved forward to give you a kiss.

Your brain had stopped processing the situation around the time he reached for your shirt,but when his lips touched yours, everything hit you at once. You threw your arms around his shoulder, and he moved the popcorn from his lap onto the foot rest as he shifted his body to more comfortable position. His hands were on your hips, and your hands ran through his hair.

He had gentle pushed you onto your back when it happened.

 

 

**An hours earlier **

“Give me the phone Darcy.” Steve’s strict tone didn’t give her much room to argue, but as soon as Steve had it [y/n] hung up. “Darcy!”

“What? I’m not the one who hung up.” Darcy said lifting her hands in mock defenses.

“Where did she go? Is [y/n] ok? And why isn’t she home yet?”

Darcy was—in Steve and Bucky’s opinions—annoyingly happy to give us her report, “[y/n] decided to completely blow off your rules so that she could go on a date with this hot dude from her Northern Euro Mythology class. I know that you guys are doing what’s best for her, and that she’s probably safer here, but this a breakthrough for [y/n]. She hasn’t even tried to date anyone since we were in high school because her last boyfriend was a lying douche. And she hung up before you could talk to her, but she sounded really happy which is a really good thing given how upside down things have been since Loki happened.” Bucky gave a polite cough to prompt Darcy to stop.

“When did she meet this new guy?” Bucky said arms crossed and brow lifted in interest.

“I don’t know… a day or two ago… I think.” Apparently Steve didn’t like the sound of that.

“Do you know where they are?” He said frantically while grabbing a rain jacket.

“No,” Darcy said with an edge to her voice. “And if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. You… you… star-spangled cock-block.” She stormed towards the super-solider and poked his chest. “Now listen here Captain, my best friend has not- I repeat not- took an interest in a non-fictional man since high school. While I’m all about that fandom life, I will not have you standing in the way of her opportunity to finally get some long awaited sexy-time.” During her rant, Bucky started towards the door. He had abandoned the idea of grabbing a coat in fear that he too would fall under Darcy’s wrath. “I swear to Thor, Steve, if you get in the way of my little girl becoming a woman, in any way, I will not only tell everyone about the time you got drunk of asgardians mead and admitted to loving Nicki Minaj’s work, I’ll show them the video of you dancing to Anaconda.” The horrified look on Steve’s told Darcy that the point had gotten across.

Unfortunately Bucky was already out the door, and on his way to interrupt [y/n]’s sexy-time and ruin Steve’s reputation. When Darcy finally noticed Barnes absence, she gave Steve a murderess glare.

“You better stop him Cap.” Then Darcy walked out of the room softly singing “My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun.” Steve stood in the living room in stupefied wonder and then pulled out the GPS tracker and headed for the door.

*                                                                             *                                                                             *

It had taken Bucky no time at all to track you down. But in your defense you weren’t really trying to hide and he is a trained assassin. Bucky stood on a roof across from the apartment building Laufey lived in. He was evaluating the situation: How was he going to make it into your room in the stealthiest, but most dramatic way possible. It had been his go to way to screw with Hydra when he was brainwashed. If he was going to assassinate people against his will, he was going to force Hydra to work covering them up. I guess some habits die hard.

Eventually he decided that he was going to do a quick sweep of the office files on the bass floor, and then he was going to climb the neighboring roof, and jump off of it into the corresponding window and hope for the best. Lucky him this Laufey dude lived in the penthouse so he didn’t have far to fall. Unfortunately the window he decided jump through lead to an abandoned kitchen with no one there to witness his badassery.

He got over his butt-hurt and decided that if he was going to jump into someone’s house and waste the energy being cool and what not for no one to see it, than he was going to AT LEAST get a snack. Looking through the cabinets he saw a something that completely distracted him from mission cock-block, (because even he thinks Steve is being a party pooper.) It was something called Ramen Noodles. He decided that this was what he was going to make for his post-dramatic-entrance snack.

In hindsight he should have stopped as soon as he knew that it involved the microwave, but he didn’t. He also should have paid more attention to the microwave’s ‘no metal’ than the instructions, but he didn’t. He left the fork inside the microwave and at about the fifth minutes in the microwave exploded.

Being a super-soldier Bucky wasn’t hurt, but he was startled enough to pull out a gun and shoot not only the poor destroyed microwave, but the fridge and a couple of cabinets.

 

**Meanwhile……**

 

You were staring into Laufey’s eyes. They were so green they almost glowed. As he drew closer to you, you were overcome by his smell. It was welcoming and warm, like roasting marshmallow on an open fire, and all you could do was closer your eyes waiting for him to kiss you so you could see if he tasted as good as he smelt.

That’s when you both heard an explosion.

It shook a couple of decorations in Laufey’s living room while the two of you exchanged confused and worried looks. After a couple of seconds of shot, the shooting happened. It was rapid and it was quick. At this point Laufey stood up and walked towards the door clearly annoyed, but surprisingly not scared. You got up and followed him as he walked out of the living room, into the hall of Norse Mythological wonders and straight at the source of the sound. When he opened the door, with you hiding behind him, you didn’t know what you expected, but you knew it wasn’t this.

James was out of bullets in his gun, but when he went to reload them he noticed an extremely annoyed man and a frightened [y/n] hiding behind him. He put the gun back in his pocket like and gave you an apologetic look. “It just exploded.”Taking a small step away from the burnt bullet riddled machine.

You step out from behind Laufey. “James Buchanan Barnes, how dare you barge into someone’s home and shoot their microwave. Actually, why are you here in the first place? I told Darcy I was fine.”

“Steve wanted you to come back home, but Darcy wouldn’t let him so I came to get you.” With every word he said his confident building-jumping, assassin-like spirit began to fade. “When I got over here, I got a bit hungry and thought I’d take a small bit.” He nonchalantly motioned at the window that he had broken jumping into Laufey’s apartment.

“OH MY GOD, THE WINDOW!” you were absolutely mortified. First you spill orange Fanta over his notebooks at lunch, and now this. Your assassin friend broke into his house through the window, tried to steal his food, blew up his microwave, and interrupted a very steamy moment. You had started apologizing to Laufey, but he just gave you the same sweet smile he had when you spilt your soda, and totally dismissed it. You didn’t see how this could get any worse when Steve came tumbling in through the window James had broke, and rolled all the way to the other side of the room slamming into the wall with his shield. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO MORE!”

Laufey had actually started chuckling, probably at your complete hysteria of the situation. And when Steve had looked up at you to give you the same apologetic look that Barnes had, his whole face went red. And like the other day you looked down to see that you were not properly clothed. All you had on was Laufey’s shorts, and your slightly damp bra. You covered up your chest with your hands, and walked out of the room back to where you left Laufey’s shirt.

On your way you wished that a black hole would open up and swallow you whole so you wouldn’t have to deal with the reality of what just went down. When you got to the room, you went straight for the drier so that you could put on your clothes. When you were done changing you took a deep breath, and then walked back into the kitchen where you saw Steve chock holding your date, while Bucky held a gun at his chest.

This was it. Laufey was never going to speak to you again. Not even he could blow this off with a smile. You walked over to James and pushed his gun so that it was no longer pointing at your date, and you gave him your best angry mother face.

“Stay back [y/n]. This man is-“ Steve used his military I’m-serious-so-do-what-I-say voice, but you were having none of it.

“Steve if you have jumped into his house destroyed his wall, and gotten on my last nerve to many times. If you don’t let go of him right now, I will be forced to call Darcy to ask for revenge. And Darcy could take you super solider ass down.” At the mention of Darcy, Steve let go of Laufey who, after catching his breath, gave you ANOTHER I forgive you smile.

“This was a fun date; don’t you think [y/n]?” He said with an amused smirk.

“Definitely, let’s do this again.” You smiled at him surprised he wasn’t calling security. “Maybe next time without these two.” You said motioning to Bucky and Steve who were both looking guiltily at the ground.

“Count me in.” You give Laufey one last hug before you head to the door in shame, grabbing you book bag and coat on the way.

When you and the two super idiots were in the elevator on the way down, Steve spoke again.

“I’m sorry [y/n], but he’s-“

"Don't"

"[y/n] he's Lo-"

"Stop"

"Please just listen."

“No Rogers. Don’t. say. anything.”

And that was a basic summary of the walk back home. Bucky and Steve quietly trailing behind you while you ask the good lord why you couldn’t have one normal day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone who just started publishing her work online. I'd like to thank everyone who reads my stories and like or comments. It completely amazes me that anyone would want to keep up with my stories as they are right now. And I'd especially like to thank Ryler_The_Trickster. Your comments are the best.


	7. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dreams continue, your life keeps going, and the truth comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this is took so long. But fair warning, this has not been proof read. So I will probably do some extra updating later to fix any mistake I find in the morning, but for now I give you this.

_You couldn’t breathe. The pain was so bad that you couldn’t breathe. And it wasn’t the kind of pain that had you screaming until your throat was sore. It was the kind of pain that numbed your mind physically and mentally. Your body had stopped begging for mercy, and had become content in the constant agonizing pain. You couldn’t breathe because you couldn’t muster the strength to think about breathing._

_You couldn’t sleep. Your body may have found a way to deal with the pain, but it was by no means use to it. Every time you closed your eyes, it was there to remind you that you were in hell. So you stopped trying. Whenever you felt sleeps torturous pull, you dug your nails into your flesh, over and over and over again. It hurt less to shred your legs to pieces than to fall asleep._

_What a sad existence._

_When you tormenter came back, it was with a proposition. “Do what I say and I will let you go.” No one could blame you for wanting to be free. No one should blame you for doing what it took to get away._

“Please stop doing this [y/n].” You came out of your dream stupor in the same way as last time, in pain and bleeding. You looked up to see Darcy while she was trying to stop the bleeding. This time is was legs.

Getting to school was going to be awful.

You gently pushed Darcy away from your legs, and walked to the bathroom mirror across the room. You were very aware that your legs were bleeding all over Tony’s beautiful floor, but the pain in your legs was nowhere near the pain you felt in your dreams. When you reached the bathroom mirror, you pulled your shirt over your head and prayed that your mark hadn’t gotten any worse.

Unfortunately your prayer fell on deaf ears.

The mark had wrapped itself around your torso. It appeared to be one large snake, and its body ran around your stomach and back. The head of your mark was over near your heart, but unlike the rest of the mark that you could see. The mark over your heart looked like claw marks. The mark was bigger, more complex, and will definitely be harder to hide.

UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

“You should really bandage that- OMG [y/n] it’s bigger. It is so much bigger.” You pulled your shirt down over your mark.

“It is, isn’t it?” You were so tired. It felt like you hadn’t sleep in days.

“Honey, you shouldn’t be so calm about this. WHY ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS?” Darcy grabbed you shoulders again. “Baby you’re still bleeding. What’s wrong?” Darcy handed you a bandage.

“I don’t know. It’s the dreams. They hurt so much that this is nothing.” The bandages were very sturdy. “I’ll be fine after 10. It just takes time to shake the dreams.”

“Stay here. Get some rest.”

“No. My paper is due in Northern Myth I have to turn it in. I’ll be home right after school, so please don’t send the two super soldiers to find me.” Darcy grabbed you shoulder. You knew she only meant well, but you were still in that tortured trance so you just shook her off and went to change.

“Now babe, I know you’re a trooper- remember that time you feel out of a tree- but this is too much.”

“I can’t stop my life for this.” You gave her a stern look. “I won’t.” Darcy slummed down in her bed as you finished dressing.

On your way out, you limped determinedly past Steve and James. Steve tried yet again to tell you his “life changing” information, but you put in your headphones and walked past him. But Captain was nothing if not persistent. He stood in front of you, and said, “I know you don’t want to talk to me, but you need to. I’m sorry about yesterday, but we were worried, and you were-“

“Steve. I promise I’ll listen to you when I get back, but I cannot do this,” You gestured wildly, “right now. I just can’t.”

“Ok, but we will talk when you come home.” He moved out of your way so that you could get through, “Please stay away from Laufey. For your safety.”

You knew you weren’t going to do that, and you knew you were being childish, but they had blown up you’re almost-boyfriend’s kitchen. You’d talk to him later, but you knew it wouldn’t have gone well if you tried now. Your emotions were still off kilter.

*                                                                             *                                                                             *

Your mood lifted as soon as you got to your classroom. You rushed over to Laufey. He smiled as you rushed forward, and opened his arms. Laufey had never hugged you before, but I guess almost sex was rewarded with close contact.

“Are you absolutely sure that you aren’t mad at my friends for breaking your home. I’m sure I could make them pay for damages.”

“No. They were worried about you. It joys me that you surround yourself with such loving friends.”

Your legs were too sore to keep standing so you’re let go of him and took your seat. It had taken you longer to get to school, so you didn’t have your usual talk time before class started. It didn’t seem to matter. Just being near Laufey was brightening your day, and helping you feel like you  were normal again.

Fortunately, all your professor had planed was test returns. He let you all go 45 minutes early. That meant 45 minutes to walk around campus with Laufey before your next class.

As soon as class was excused you went to the ice cream shop around the block. Laufey had sat you down, and was staring intently into your eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“What for sweet thing?” You said eating another bit of Strawberry Cotton Candy ice cream.

“I’m sorry for lying to you, for keeping the truth from you, and for tricking you.” You were staring at him like had just said he was a vampire.

“What?” You had tried to sound angry, but you knew that you only sound hurt.

“I’m surprised Roger’s hadn’t mentioned it yet.”

“Mentioned what?”

“He will probably tell you before the day is over anyway.”

Your body tensed up, “Laufey stop scaring me.”

“This will at least give me the chance to tell you myself. I wish our class had been longer.”

“What is it Laufey!?”

“I am truly sorry, [y/n], but out time together was very special to me.”

“Tell me what’s going on now! Are you sick?” What was he keeping from you that was so bad.

“I am Loki.”

No. No. NO. NO. **NO. “** No.”

His skinned shifted from his usual pale color to blue. His eyes were red, just like they had been almost a week ago. “Yes.” He dropped his head in shame.

You stood up and made a run for the door. But by the time you were out of the shop, he was leaning on the wall outside. He looked normal, but he was decked out in green and gold battle armor, your abandoned ice cream in his hand.

“You left this.” He said offering the ice cream.

Then an awful suspicion hit you. “Am I still in the tower?”

“What?”

“The Avenger’s tower, it’s where you left me when you escaped. Or did this illusion start after the dreams.” You pushed his arm out of your way. “Why did I need those sick dreams?” You started walking towards the tower; you’ve had enough for today.

“You’re not under an illusion [y/n]. I just didn’t tell you who I was.” He walked behind you. “And I didn’t give you dreams. I only saw you at yours school.”

“You’re lying!”

“I am not”

“Then why? Why did I have those dreams? Why are you trying to be my patron? Why did you even talk to me at school?” You started running.

He manifested himself in front of you. “I needed someone to integrate me into society. I am hiding from a powerful man, and he won’t be happy I’ve failed.” Laufey- no Loki- held you in place while you tried desperately to wiggle away from him. The whole time people walked on as if they couldn’t see your struggle. “I thought that I could learn what it is mortals do so that I could go undetected, but it only made me sorry that I had hurt tricked you.” The pleading tone in his voice almost made you feel sorry for him. “What can I do make it up to you?”

“Let me go!” How could people just walk by the two of you like nothing was going on? “If you’re so sorry, than let me walk away.” He let me go. And you went on a dead sprint back to the tower.

Legs be damned.

*                                                                             *                                                                             *

Steve didn’t expect you back so quickly, but he wasn’t going to let you change your mind. “[y/n]! Laufey is –“

“Loki.” Steve’s looked at you shocked. “I just found out.” You didn’t mean to, but you broke down crying into his chest. “Of course the only dude I’ve liked in years would turn out to be a maniac.”

“I’m sorry [y/n].”

“No. I’m sorry for not listening to you.” You said between sobs. “I don’t even know if you’re real. I’ve said it before, but you and James are too hot to be real.” Steve’s chest rose as he laughed. “And how can a regular girl like me just end up in THE Avengers tower. God it was probably all just a part of his sick mind games.”

“Your jeans are covered in blood”

“My legs… are covered in wounds.” You said through a sob.

Steve responded by picked you up in his arms while you cried into his chest, and carried you crying through the tower. “I’m real. I promise.” He carried you through doorways, down halls and you think an elevator- you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself to take notes. When the two of you stopped moving, Steve gently stood you on the ground, and you saw a confused, sweaty, shirtless Barnes.

“[y/n] what’s wrong? Steve why is she here, we need to find her help now?” James said as he tried pushing past Steve to go get said help, but Steve stopped him.

“Bucky, you are the help.” You and James gave him a confused look. “She found out about Loki. And she’s confused. You know better than anyone what questioning what is real is like. I thought you might be able to help her ground herself.” He shot you an encouraging smile. “And if you need or want to talk to me. I’ll be there, and real.”

Steve gave Barnes a pat on the back, and walked out of the room.

You and James exchanged awkward, and confused looks, before he said, “Rough week, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for the bad grammar,and spelling errors (And feel free to mention any glaring ones that make the story hard to read.)  
> And to the handful of you that have my story bookmarked. Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy.


	8. Bad therapy and Super Solider flashing part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky does his best to help you feel better. This includes giving you some questionable advice, a heartbreaking backstory, and a nice nap. But all naps end, and business begins again.   
> You can't ignore your problem with a certain someone, but you can try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always my grammar is awful, and i'll be fixing it as I go.   
> You can dedicate this chapter to the super bowl commercial from the sweet lord above. Dear God I thank you for creating Marvel, and Steve Rogers.

Training wasn’t going so well. For the first couple of minutes you and Bucky sat on his bed, and ate a lot of junk food that he had been stashing away from the rest of the Avengers. Eventually he asked me why I needed help recognizing what’s real and what wasn’t. I told him about Laufey, and how creepy and unsettling it was to be sitting by yourself wondering if anything was real anymore, and when you complained about the pain in your legs he offered to clean up your wound and redress it.

It was a bit awkward sitting on James bed without your pants, but your leg did need redressing. James seemed to pick up on your struggle so he began telling you more about his story to keep your mind off of your lack of clothes- again.

“I don’t remember it all, but I know I grew up in Brooklyn with Steve, and when the Second World War came around, well, it was a man’s duty to fight for his country. Steve had tried to get accepted so many times, but if you ask me I was happy that they kept him out of it. The things I did as an American soldier – the people I’ve killed – it’s something I wish I didn’t remember.

“I was in for around a year before I was captured. They had me strapped to this table while this scientist took me apart and put me back together again. I think he was trying to make another version of Steve’s serum. I thought I was done for as soon as the needle went in my skin, but I wasn’t. And when Steve came to save me, I just couldn’t believe my luck.

“I didn’t tell anyone about the shots or the experiments. People look at you funny when you tell them you’ve been through a thing or two, but it didn’t seem to have an affect so I just went on with my life. Or I would have.” James had just put the last bandage and place from his place on the floor. When he had tied it in place, he covered his metal arm with his other hand. “It wasn’t until I fell that I truly experienced what he did to me.” His voiced dropped until it was barely a whisper. “I fell off a mountain and made it out alive. I couldn’t move but I was alive”

“Oh, James that’s horrible.” You said as you sat on the ground next to him.

“I guess it is.” He face was completely unreadable. “Steve wanted me to give you tips right?” You nodded. “Tip 1, turn up the heat. Cold rooms tend to confuse me. Tip 2, try applying pressure to a wound. A bullet or knife wound is the best; I guess you could just squeeze your leg. Tip 3, avoid sleeping. You can’t control your dreams so just avoid them.” You were slightly horrified. Barnes tips were extremely bad for his health, and surprisingly specific.

You gave James a pat on head. “Thank you James, but I think I’ve heard enough.”

“OK.” He gave you an obviously forced, but still charming smile. “Why is it that you always call me James? Everyone else here calls me Bucky.” You smiled and extended you hand to his.

“That’s what you told me to call you.”

James gave you a small smiled. “Well than you can call me Bucky.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You said playfully. You stood to your feet and extending your hand so you could help pull him up. “Now what do you say we skip the whole psychological lesson Steve’s trying to push and I’ll introduce you to a thing called DC TV shows.”

“Whatever you say, ma’am.” You jump down onto his bed and started messing with his remotes. Thankfully Bucky’s remote systems worked the same as yours.

*                                                                             *                                                                             *

It had been a couple of hours and Steve couldn’t take it anymore. What if Bucky accidentally hurt her? Darcy would have his –as she liked to say – ‘star-spangled balls.’ He knocked on the door, but got no answer. So he did the only thing that he could think to do.

He busted the door down. And he saw a Bucky curled around you while the both of you slept, but his extravagant entrance woke Bucky, and he immediately had a gun pointed at Steve’s head.

“You little Punk! You can’t just bust into a room like that.” Barnes tried to pull his metal arm out from under you without waking you up. “I should shoot you anyway Steve.”

“Sorry Buck. I tried knocking.” If Steve had known Bucky was sleeping, than he would have left them alone. Barnes hadn’t slept proper since they were reunited.

Apparently Bucky wasn’t the only one concerned with Steve’s unconventional lock skills. Darcy came barreling down the hallway followed by the majority of the Avenger tower residence. “Steve what did you do to the door- Is that [y/n]? Why is she in Bucky’s room? Is she- Is she sleeping?” Darcy was jumping up and down at this point. “Ok guys everyone turn around quietly and walk away. My girl hasn’t sleep right in almost a week andItsKindaMyFaultButWhatever just turn around quietly.”

“This is my tower you can’t tell me what to do.” Tony said extremely loud. That annoying billionaire.

“All-American jamming to Queen Nicki. If you want the video, you will follow my orders.” Steve let out an annoyed sound from behind the black haired girl.

“Darcy please don-“

“You had your chance Rogers.”

Tony gave Darcy an impressed look, but he put both hands up in surrender and walked away quietly. The only people in the hallway were Darcy, Steve, Thor, and Dr. Banner. “Darcy turned her attention back to her friend in the arms of a former assassin. Barnes was still trying to quietly remove his arm from under you.

“Don’t Move!” Darcy yell whispered at the confused man. “You will stay and cuddle [y/n] or so help me I will make Clint turn his high power magnates on again.”  

Bruce gave Darcy a soft clap of appreciation. She was successfully blackmailing the two of the most dangerous men in the world, not including himself. She gave Bucky one last glare before he settled back into his spot curled around you. Then she turned to Bruce. “What do you need Big Green?”

“I just wanted to check up with [y/n]. You said her mark got bigger.” Darcy nodded.

Thor stepped forward. “May I a look at the mark? My brother has never taken a patron before, and I wanted to know how his mark manifests.”

“Well it looks like a snake wrapped itself around her and a wolf is in the middle of tearing her heart out. Not mentioning the fact that she tore her own leg apart this morning and then walked to school. Is that normal?”

“No. When I took my first Tribute, he experienced a few of my more prominent memories and I his. He never complained about pain. Maybe…” Thor had a look his face that said we wouldn’t like his idea. “We could try and talk to Loki. Patrons are known to sooth their tributes. And if all else fails we could at least ask him why he wishes to take a tribute.”

“No” Darcy said crossing her arms.

“It might be our only option.” Bruce said softly, after witnessing the ease she took down the super solider, he wasn’t eager to anger her.

“No” Bucky whispered while still wrapped around you.

“Buck if he can help her…” Steve said weakly.

“No!” Both Darcy and Bucky whisper yelled at the same time.

“What?” you said sleepily. “Not to what?”

Darcy threw her hands up in defeat. “You are suppose to be sleeping peacefully.” She said shooting her a glare – as if it was her fault that Darcy couldn’t shut up. “Thor wants to invite Loki over to figure out why he tatted you up”

“I’d rather you not, but if you have to go ahead. Just do it while I’m at school so I won’t have to see him.” You woefully pulled yourself out of Bucky’s arms. Despite wearing several layers of clothes, you could still feel his well toned body. _Maybe you should go back to sleep._

“If it helps you any, he said that he didn’t mean to make me his patron, but I believe absolutely nothing he says. I’m still questioning if I’m in another one of his illusions.” Bucky grabbed one of your scarred hands and pushed down hard. “OW, OW, OW! I’M FINE BUCKY I’M FINE!”

“Remember just open up a wound.” James was smiling so big that you didn’t have the heart to tell him that it did nothing, but hurt. From the look off Steve’s face he was revaluating putting Bucky in charge of your mental health recovery.

Steve looked like he was about to ask why his best friend tried to reopen one of your wounds so you changed the subject. “Tomorrows Friday, so invite Loki over when I’m at school. That way I can go to school and you can ask him whatever you need him to.”

Bruce nodded before saying. “Do you know how to get in contact with him?”

You nodded before reaching into your pocket and pulling out your phone. You shot ‘Laufey’ a quick text:

**Come by the Tower to talk. Tomorrow at 8.**

“My brother has a gift of appearing to be in two places at once. Maybe you should stay at home tomorrow.”

“No. I don’t know why I have to keep saying this, but I’m not quitting school over this.” You folded you arms defiantly. “So stop asking.”

Steve folded his arms in response. “Well we can’t very well let you go by yourself. I’ll take you to school if you’re serious.”

“Yes!’’ You got up and started jumping on Bucky’s bed.

But unfortunately you forgot that your legs were still beyond sore. You fell as fast as you got up, and when you looked back up at the door. Bruce, Thor, and Darcy were giving you a look that was a mix between amused and confused. You were confused as to what they was so funny, but then you saw Steve’s tomato red face, and heard Bucky’s quiet laugh.

“Doll, I think your forgetting this.” Bucky said as he handed you the pants you took off so he could bandage you leg. You grabbed them and quickly put them on.


	9. 'All America Booty'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Calm before the storm, and some sweetness before I bring the hammer of Thor down on your emotions (If I do it right). Barnes wants to watch Steve's old movies and you ask Darcy to join. But when Darcy is caught off guard both of your embarrassing obsessions take center stage.

When you were fully clothed, the two super soldiers offered to walk you to your room so that Steve could make a game plan for tomorrow.

“I’ll wake you up at 7 so that we can all have breakfast together and then you and I will head over to your school. What classes do you have on Fridays?” While Steve went on seriously planning out your day, Bucky was a few steps out of Steve’s vision and mocking the poor man the whole way. It took all of your power not to laugh.

“What?”

“What classes do you have tomorrow?”

“Oh. I have Norse, English, and Latin tomorrow.”

James gave you a surprised look. “What do you have on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”

“Norse and Math. It sounds like a lot, but this is my last semester and then I’ll have my bachelors in Ancient Civics and can go into the research field. It’s been my dream for years, and it’s the reason why I kept going despite a crazy Norse god running wild.” You tried to downplay how intense you felt about your future. Most people would laugh at how much you wanted to be a History professor or how dedicated you were to not skipping your classes.

                You reached your room before either of them had a chance to comment back.

“Do you want to come in? I need to do a couple of assignments, but you guys can watch some Netflix and I can help you with your pop culture reference.” Steve looked like he was going to decline, but James started to walk inside.

James paused halfway through the door and said, “Should I make some popcorn?”

“Remember what happened last time you got close to a microwave? I’ll be in charge of movie snacks.” You said good naturally as you headed to the kitchen.

 

“What do you want to watch boys?” You said taking your place in between the two of them.

“I’ve always wanted to see Steve’s old movies.” James said taking the remote from your hand. “Let’s watch those.”

“I’d rather we not.” Even in the dark room you could see the red in Steve’s face.

“Wait. Wait. If we’re going to watch Captain’s movies, we need to watch them in a specific order and I need to get Darcy.” You pulled your phone out of your pocket so you could send her a quick text.

It took all of two seconds before Darcy came barreling down the hallway. When she opened your door, she was decked out in her Cap jacket and plastic shield, and she even dug up your old sergeant hat that you won at your high school history festival.

You might have forgotten to tell her that Cap was going to be there. When she saw the two of them sitting on your bed, her face twisted itself into a whole new emotion. It looked something between mortification and murderess intent with a hint of confusion here and there.

It was priceless…. So you took a picture.

“You little hoe! I’ve been very lowkey about my obsession and now you’ve gone and outted me.” She sat defeated at the foot of the bed before she sprung up and ran to your closet. “But if I’m going down, I’m dragging you to hell with me baby girl.”

You knew exactly what she was looking for. “It hasn’t recovered from the building wreckage.” James could never see it.

“Oh really? I call bull. You would have complained about it if it did.” She continued to search, but you were sure she wouldn’t find it.

“I’m not a high school girl anymore. I grew up, now get on the bed so we can start the movie. At this point both James and Steve were curious as to what Darcy was looking for.

Darcy continued shuffling through things but eventually gave up. “Ok.” She moved to your bed, but then she stopped and gave you a devilish smirk. “The bed.”

She knew. Darcy immediately went under your bed. And you jumped up out of your comfy spot between the boys to attack her.

“Darcy stop. I’m sorry.”

“It’s too late.”

“It’s never too late to make a difference. All you have to do is let this go.”

“Never!” She emphasized her point by grabbing you limited edition replica Sergeant Barnes Jacket and both of your model riffles.

“Don’t look!” but it was too late, both Steve and Bucky had been anxiously watching as the two of you fought and had gotten an eye full of your tragic, nerdy, obsessive past.

James smiled as he pointed towards the toy guns in Darcy’s hands. “Are those my old guns?”

“Is that his old uniform?” Steve said equally as amused.

You fell to the floor in embarrassment. “… No it isn’t.”

“The jacket has my name on it.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“’James Buchanan Barnes’ yep that’s your name, Buck.”

“It was a joke gift..?” You weren’t even convincing yourself.

“She spent three weeks memorizing World War 2 textbooks so she could go toe and toe with the biggest Howling Commando nerds in the world.” Darcy said confidently as she stared at you vengeance in her eyes.

“Well I wouldn’t have been so obsessed with the sarg if you hadn’t have called monopoly on- and I quote-‘that all American booty,’ or should I say ‘america’s finest ass.’” Darcy let out an offended squeak from her place on the floor.

“How could you? Your facebook name was ‘Mrs. Barnes’ until you entered college.”

“I didn’t make out with my text books when we got to the WWII sections.”

“No your lips were exclusively saved for the vintage Howling Commando Posters I got you on your birthday.”

“You’re first three boyfriends had the last name Rogers, and you joined little Mrs. America pageants despite the fact that you called them ‘objectification centrals’, because you wanted the title Mrs. America.”

“Your first and only boyfriend broke up with you because you wouldn’t tell him that you liked him more than Sergeant Barnes.”

“He wasn’t worth it! And he’d been cheating on me for a year.”

“And after you two broke up you wouldn’t shut up about how Barnes would never treat you like that, despite the fact that he’s a total womanizer.”

“You slept with the Disneyland Captain America while both of you were on shift, and made me cover for you.”

“He was a damn good lay. That aside, you were already Barnes trash when I found you.”

“The same could be said for your Steve obsession. Out of hands before I laid eyes on you.”

“GIRLS!” James shouted before Darcy could reply. The both of you looked dead at him. You had almost forgotten he both of them were there. “Settle down. I’m flattered but at this rate we won’t be able to watch the movie.”

Both you and Darcy stood up and climbed into bed. You grabbed your limited edition jacket and put it on while Barnes shot you a smile. “Please don’t make this more awkward than it has to be.”

“OK. I was just going to say that you would look good in my jacket.”

Steve gave you a pock on your shoulder to get your attention. “Did she really use to kiss textbooks?”

“Only the ones with you in them.” Steve gave Darcy a shy but happy smile. She didn’t see it though. Darcy was too busy trying to ignore the fact that Steve had seen and heard her embarrassing fanatic past, and probably planning your murder.

“If we’re going to watch a American Propaganda we have to watch it in the right order. 3,1,2 then we can watch the recorded tour footage.”

“I have my behind the sense editors cut that my grandma gave me under the bed. It’s in the box next to where the jacket was.”

“Behind the scenes footage? Punk you must have really been some star back in the day.”

“I really wasn’t.”

“Oh yes he was.” You said enthusiastically. “My grandmother met him twice and she described it as clawing through a crowed of fans so ferial it was a battle field of its own. And she had more memorabilia than I do.”

Darcy jumped up to put a hand over your mouth. “Quiet its starting. And the first and last parts are always the best.”

The two of you both watched the screen intensely while quoting your favorite lines and dancing to the patriotic music of the time.

It was even worse the Disney night. And you didn’t finish your assignments, but you’ll get to them… Eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I am sorry for any mistakes, and feel free to comment about them or my story in general. I'm also sorry that it took so long to upload, but I'm putting a lot of effort into keeping this story an at least once a week update, and so far so good.  
> And lots of love to everyone that has bookmarked this story.   
> And Ryler_The_Trickster you are my favorite person on planet earth.


	10. The opposite of Last Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today was the day that Loki would finally tell the Avengers what he did to you, but it felt like any other day this week. You woke up in tears, and with new tattoos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter i know, and I'm sorry.

_You were in a cage._

_Your father put you in a cage. Well you had expected it from him because he wasn’t your father, but you hadn’t expected your mother to allow it. As much as you hated it you hadn’t expected Thor to let you rot there._

_But they had, and know your were reading the same book again playing out the content in an illusion, and pretending like the after affect of his torture weren’t still here. Every time that you let go of your illusions your mind goes back to that table, and your body feels all of that pain._

_When Thor told you to drop your illusion, you showed him the room, but he never got to see your body, the scares on your hands, on your legs. He hasn’t really seen your body since your first child passed._

_Only your mother had._

_The same mother who promised she loved you and then left you to rot in this whole with only a few books to help pass the eternity. She had been their when your Odin had allowed to let your children to be cursed to punish your stupidity, and had seen the marks you wore in tribute. The time when your newborn children were kicked out of the courts of Asgard because they were deemed monsters before they could talk. Your mother even marked her skin to match your shared grief of the calamity._

_She left you here to rot, and she hadn’t even taken the risk to come see you. You pretended she did, but she had truly abandoned you like everyone else. You were alone and you would be for the rest of eternity._

You woke up in tears. You were sobbing your eyes out on the floor. You were in Darcy’s lap as she sleepily comforted you. “What happened honey?”

“Loki’s… Loki’s dreams.”

Steve immediately jumped from his place on your bed to your side. “Are they hurting you again ma’am? We should call Bruce.” He turned to your bed were Bucky was barely waking up. “Buck call Bruce. [y/n] is hurt!”

Bucky got up and started yelling at Jarvis while Steve tried to get you to calm down. You were crying anyway. This morning was nothing like last night. Everyone but Steve was having a good time watching his WW2 movies. It was so good that you and Darcy had fell asleep on the floor –as soon as you finished your homework –singing Captain America’s cartoon theme song.

This morning was the opposite of last night. It felt like you were a building and Loki was the demolition team taking you down. And he was damn good at his job. His actions and the things that he’s fought for says that he’s a bad guy. A murdering sociopath with no concern for feelings, but when he was Laufey, he was so sweet. The memories you got from him were so tortured and so sad that someone after the first five minutes of crying you stopped crying because his memories hurt and started crying because you felt bad for him.

His life sucked, and you wanted to give that too tall, pale emo trash a hug. Good thing you’d be in school when he was at Avengers Tower.

All of a sudden you were in the air. Someone had picked you up. It was Steve, you would have questioned him but your throat was clogged with tears… Again. You let your mystery man take you wherever he was going to. And when you were finally calm enough to wipe the tears out of your eyes you saw that Steve had put you on one of Bruce’s lab table.

Bruce was looked at the two of you from behind his desk, “[y/n] Bucky told me that you woke up frazzled from another dream. How do you feel?”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“I’m sorry [y/n], but this could be important.”

“I know it’s just that. They are his memories and I don’t feel right knowing them let alone sharing them. I’m sorry, but I just can’t.” You said while looking away from both Steve and Bruce.

“Ok…Well let’s move onto your mark. We need to know if it got any bigger.” You nodded before taking your shirt off. Steve let out a surprised yelp which made you giggle.

“Come on Rogers! You have already seen most of this. Modesty is just a formality between us now.” You said half-heartedly. “I’m sorry doctor, but I if you could get the exam over with I have class early today.” Bruce nodded and got to work.

It turned out that your mark was on an entirely new level now. The snake that covered your body was fully formed and had different shades of green and black coloring his body. The scar over your heart was fully formed as well as another claw mark on your stomach. There was a half of a skeleton on his shoulder, and finally there was something that looked like a bit mark on your forearm.

Everyone was confused as to why you had so many marks, and what they meant, but when he had finished listing all of your marks you instantly knew what they meant, and you were halfway between tears and throwing up. Bruce had noticed how sick you looked so he took pictures of your marks and sent you upstairs with Steve.

“Steve I’m sorry, but I can’t go to school.” You said weekely.

“Really? You almost tore my head off when I suggested it last night. What changed your mind?” Steve gave you a weary look.

“The marks are for his kids… I don’t want to tell you, but I just can’t – I don’t know what –why can’t I –Steve I’m so confused. He makes me so confused.” You were holding back tears. “I’ll only rest today.”

Steve let out a big sigh. “You should go to school.” He said in a defeated tone. I know that I keep telling you to rest, but we both know that if you take the day off, you won’t forgive yourself.” He grabbed your shoulder. “You told me last night that if you didn’t go to school than he would win, so don’t let him win.” You nodded and leaned into Steve’s touch.

“Ok, I’ll go, but let’s get moving before we’re late.” You said.

The two of you got to the elevator waiting for it to open so that you could grab a few things from your room. When the door opened, you couldn’t breathe. Steve pulled you behind him protectively and you didn’t try to stop him.

It was him.

It was Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is your weekly update. Here you go. I originally didn't mean for this to be such a suspenseful build up, but writing Loki into a story is so complicated I wanted the reader not to hate his guts before he showed back up.


	11. him

It was weird seeing him look like Laufey in his green and gold battle suit. Thor was by his side keeping watch of him, and you were aware that he was giving you a concerned look, but all you could focus on was Loki.

Everything about him was the same as the man you had grown quite fond of. Laufey’s long black hair, and his moonlight pale skin. The only thing that was different about Loki and Laufey was the look he was giving you.

Besides his mischief filled smirks, Laufey had done nothing but smile at you. Loki was looking at you as if you were holding a knife to his throat, begging you for his life. Loki looked genuinely afraid of you, and it made no sense. He was the asgardians prince that had the power to bend time and space. He was the trickster with a secret agenda and no empathy for the ones he hurt. You should be afraid of him.

And you were. As soon as Steve shook you out of your initial shock you hid behind him. Thor practically dragged Loki out of the elevator and around the corner you and Steve had just come from. But before he was out of sight, he gave you one last look and mouthed, ‘I’m sorry.’

It was getting harder to breath, and hotter by the second. Steve gently guided you into the elevator that Loki had gotten out of. “Are you ok [y/n]?”

“I don’t think so.” You said weakly before catching yourself. “But don’t think that will stop me from getting to class.”

“That’s good.” The rest of the short elevator ride was spent in silence. You were having a really hard time trying to figure out why Loki was affecting you this much. Sure he completely screwed your ability to judge reality, and yes you had started to really enjoy the time you spent with Laufey, but that small frame of time- only a couple of weeks- shouldn’t give him so much control over you.

When the door to your floor open, Darcy didn’t even let you get off the elevator before she hugged you. “Bucky and I saw him get on the elevator. Are you alright? He didn’t start anything with you right? Cause if he did I-I-I’ll get my taser and show him whose boss.”

“I’m fine Darcy, and I don’t think a taser would hurt him.”

Darcy let out a relieved breath and then immediately puffed up her chest, “Shows how much you know. My taser took Thor down once in New Mexico.”

Steve smiled at Darcy, “She did do it too. Thor told me about it once.”

“I don’t doubt it, but I have to get my stuff for school or I’ll be late,” as soon as you said that your phone went off. It was a text from your college on the weather report.

**_School will be closed today due to inclement weather. Stay inside and Have a nice day._ **

“No way.” You said angrily. “Of all days to close school It just had to be the day I needed a reason not to be here.” Steve looked at the text on your phone.

“You’re right. But I’m sure that we can find somewhere else to go.” Steve started sprinting to your room so that he could get your purse, but as soon as he saw the window he stopped. “I take that back. There is snow everywhere and all the stores in walking distance are closed.

“So were stuck in the tower with that lunatic?” Darcy asked, and when Steve gave her a defeated nod. You let out a noise that sounded a lot like a small kitten getting run over.

Bucky walked over to you from the corner he had been leaning in and gave you a giant, awkward hug. “It will be all right.” He said while patting your hair. When he finished, he pulled away from you to gage your reaction. You were smiling lovingly at him- It must have been another attempt to cheer me up- and when he saw your smile his whole face lit up. He nodded his head triumphantly and then went back to the dark corner he was originally in.

“If you guys want, we can watch movies in my room again.”

James spoke up again. “My room is bigger. Let’s go there” Steve agreed immediately, but Darcy couldn’t go.

“Jane is working with some artifacts that Thor brought from Asgard and she needs me there to record her findings. Have fun without me.” She said as she gave me one last hug and then walked into the elevator.


	12. The Howling Commando Monopoly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of calm before the storm. The two super soldier try and keep you cheerful while Thor, Bruce and the rest of the Avengers are talking to Loki about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i didn't post last week. School almost killed me, but I've been working on this since wednesday and I hope to get you and extra chapter by tomorrow.

The three of you stopped by the kitchen to pick up any snacks and leftovers on your way to Bucky’s room, and when you got to the room you all found a space in his room. Steve sat in a comfy looking chair next to a table that he filled with his snacks. Bucky set himself down on the right side of his bed, close to Steve. He was leaning against the headrest waiting for you to get settled in. You laid down next to Bucky on his left and grabbed the remote.

“So boy what do you want to watch today?” James shrugged and looked at Steve who was pulling a small notebook out of his pocket.

“Tony said that I need to watch Star Wars.” Steve said hesitantly.

That’s when it hit you. These poor super soldiers haven’t watched Star Wars. Forget your Trickster problem, these two sweet angels sent from the hottest part of heaven –and you’re not talking about temperature –to protect the American ideals have never seen Star Wars. It is one of the most influential western movie, along with Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings, and is on your top five list of classics.

More importantly they don’t know who Luke’s father is.

“Oh Dear Lord from above, this is too much pressure.” Both of the boys gave you and obviously confused look. “I just don’t know what order I should let you guys watch it in. Chronological is my favorite because it is in order from start to finish, but the first three movies are so bad they might bore you to death. I need help” You pulled your phone out and dialed Darcy.

“I’ve been gone lest then ten minutes and you already miss me? What’s going on babe?” Darcy said in her lovingly sarcastic voice.

“They want to watch Star Wars and I don’t know what order I should let them watch it in.”

“Oh My! They haven’t watched Star Wars. They don’t know about Luke and Leia or Dark  Vader. I want to be there when they watch it!!”

“No you would ruin it. Darcy Lewis you have the biggest mouth I’ve ever heard and your spoiler come with no alert. Just tell me what order they should watch it in.”

“…I guess you’re right, but record their reaction for me please. And you should watch it in the order they came out. Let them enjoy the Movie before you hit them with the Jar Jar Binks.” You knew she couldn’t see you, but you nodded anyway. “I’ll ask Jarvis to record the room so I can see their big reveal reaction.”

“Ok. Have fun working.” You hung up the phone and started messing with the remote. “Darcy said that we should watch it in the order it came out.”

“And that’s different from the other option?” Bucky said with an equally confused and amuse look.

“Yes. You can watch it 4 5 6 1 2 3 or 1 2 3 4 5 6. We are going to watch it 4 5 6 1 2 3 because we just are.”

Steve still looked confused and James pulled you into a playful hug. “Thank you so much for explaining. It makes SO much more sense now.” You can tell he was being sarcastic, but whatever he can make fun of you as much as he likes if he keeps holding you the way he is.

“Whatever, just watch the movie James.” You said snuggling into his side.

The three of you watched the first two episodes of star wars. Steve seemed impressed by the graphics and entertained, but –out of the two –Bucky showed the most signs of being absolute Star Wars trash. He would ask questions about everything and was soaking in the old graphics like they just came off the shelf yesterday. You knew that he probably hasn’t seen a movie since the 40s, but it didn’t make his nerdy behavior any less adorable.

“I really like Luke and Leia as couples don’t you Bucky?” Steve said. You held in the cringe. Poor Steve had to live life the hard way.

“No way, punk!. Have you seen the way Hans looks at Leia? That’s probably what you look at someone you love, wouldn’t you say [y/n]?” How exactly we’re you going to get around spoiling the movie?

You got it. “I’ve seen this movie so many times that I can see it both ways. I always preferred Hans, but it’s Leia’s choice not ours.” Bucky shot Steve a cocky smile and mouthed the words ‘told ya,’ while Steve rolled his eyes and turned back to the movie. There might be time to turn Steve towards the dark side yet.

And yes the pun was intended. Star Wars trash remember.

After the end of the second movie, when you were answering the questions that the boys still had, Jarvis interrupted one of James’s questions. “Mr. Rogers, your presence has been requested in Dr. Banner’s research lab.” Steve frowned at the ceiling before giving us a regrettable smile and leaving.

“Don’t start the next movie without me. Got that?”

“Whatever.“

“Sure thing Steve.”

After he left, Bucky nudged you on the shoulder, “What’s your plan? I mean we just promised Steve we wouldn’t finish the movie so what else’s can to bump off the time while mister magic is in the basement.” You were about to tell him your idea, but then you fully heard what he said.

“’Bump off’ really? ‘mister magic.’ I don’t know about you, but I’m highly entertained by that 1940s Brooklyn talk of yours.” You stood and pulled Bucky with you. Your backup game is in your room. “But honestly, why don’t you use that accent of yours more often.”

“Back in the day women didn’t want a man that couldn’t afford to buy new shoes in their life for more than a night. I don’t know exactly what the dames want now a days but I just don’t want to run a good girl off.” You could hear the hesitation in Bucky’s voice, but your heart didn’t break until he said, “At least I think so… It’s hard to remember.” You gave his strong muscular hand a squeeze.

“Well let me tell you one thing dear. Women now a days like men with accents, nice hearts, sweet words, and good looks and money are just the bonus.” When you finally got to your room, you threw open the door and ran towards your suitcase. You searched around for a little bit before you found your old monopoly game that Darcy and you made in high school. “This is what we are going to play!”

“Monopoly?”

“You themed Monopoly,” Bucky took a good look at the box that you had drawn freshman year, and laughed. The box had an old fashion map on it with markers that you had copied from the first captain America movie, and it was named ‘the howling commandos Monopoly.”

“Did you make this yourself?”

“No Darcy helped. We haven’t played it in a while though –I almost strangled her the last time we played because she always cheats. I thought it would be fun to play with you. James nodded his head, and then sat down near you of the floor.

The two of you played your old game and laughed at how cheesy it was. The chance cards were made from index cards and the game pieces were mostly small toys or useless trinkets, like bottle caps. However, this was monopoly and the fun wouldn’t last forever. In one turn you called monopoly on shield headquarters, the equivalent to boardwalk, and Bucky was in New Jersey, the equivalent of jail. You had even won the stock market money, what would normally be the free money space. Bucky was fed up with you and had started cursing you out in different languages.

The only reason you knew this was because Darcy took a semester of Russian so that she could get to know this tall blonde in the class, and she learned nothing but curse words that she all but forced you to remember. Of course Bucky switched languages so you didn’t always know what he was saying but you got the gist.

“I think your cheating.”

“No you just suck at the game my friend.”

“Funny that’s what a cheater would say.”

“Funny that’s what a loser would say.”

The two of you went back and forth playfully joking with each other until you got tired of beating Barnes and Barnes got tire of being beat. You left the game as it was on the ground and hoped up on your bed and took a nap. You talked to each other about some silly things. You would ask what Bucky missed about the forties, and he would ask what was one thing you couldn't live without. 

Eventually James asked, "When we first heard you scream, you acted like you didn't know us. I don't get why."

"Well I was 90% sure that Loki had conjured up my two favorite people from history, but when I realized you were actual people I kind of wanted to know a little bit more about the WWII look alikes. It didn't click that you were who you were until I was on my way to class." You couldn't see his face from the position you were laying in, but you could feel him nod slowly.

Neither of you had said it out loud but you had both gotten little sleep in the past week. With you it was the constant memories of Loki that kept you awake. For Bucky it was the memory of the man Hydra had made him that stole his sleep. But when the both of you were cuddled up together on one bed, you sleep like a pair of logs. And it felt good.

That is of course, until it didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally can't wait until i get to write Steve's utterly betrayed reaction to finding out that Luke and Leia are twins. It's going to be amazing.


	13. Like a Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little shaky when your dreams change... and so does Bucky.

_You were in a cage. Eyes closed, body held in place. Every couple of minutes you would test the restraints. Maybe this time there be lose enough for you to get free. Maybe today was the day you could finally run away from this place –wherever it was –and figure yourself out. If you were honest with yourself, you had given up that hope a long time ago, but habits were habits._

_Once you gave them a couple of tugs with no outcomes you gave up. You decided to spend your time, like you always did in between Freezes, remembering everything you could about anything._

_You think of the only movie you've ever seen, and Rogers. He was something, something you can't remember but something none the less. You thought about the city streets at night and the smell of gun powder. You remembered how it felt to hold a rifle because you wanted too, and you remember what it felt like to hold a rifle when you didn’t want too._

_Sometime your thoughts led you to things that weren’t very pleasant. Like the screams of a wife when you’ve killed her husband, or the cry of a child you’ve orphaned, or the thousands upon thousands of pleads for mercy that men, women, and children have presented you with before they killed you. They weren’t very nice at all, but thinking about them kept you from thinking about nothing._

_You thought and thought, occasionally checking your restraints, and thought some more. You thought until someone came in. It was a soldier of some sort with a nice clean suit. You don’t remember his face –but you don’t remember much of anything –but you do recognize the look in his eyes. It was the look of a man that would gladly jump into hell if it meant that he could drag his enemies down with him. You couldn’t remember when, where, or why but you’ve seen that look many times._

_You could swear you have._

_“Is this it?” The soldier said._

_A man walked through the door.”Yes. isn’t it lovely. Vibranium reinforced limb with technology developed under the direct order of the Red Skull. It is completely complacent, and it’s deadliness, accuracy and effectiveness have created a legend among the enemies.” The man walked closer to where you body was suspended and restrained. “Hydra has created the best weapon known to man, and we like to arm our allies. If your superior decides to accept our offer he will be allowed free access to out greatest asset at all times.”_

_The soldier was clearly thinking over the offer when he came to inspect you. You tried to snarl at him, but your obvious aggression had the opposite effect on him. He seemed happy to see the fire in your eyes. “I will talk with my superior, but I can say that the odds of our deal are in your favor.” The soldier walked to the door before turning around giving you one more analytical glance._

_After the soldier left, the man started walking around the room flipping switches and pushing buttons while he talked. “Good job Soldier. If we keep you in top shape, washed, polished and exercised, we could create ties with just about any nation and solidify the political reign of Hydra.” When the man had flipped the last button the restraints that held you started to move. You could feel the temperature drop and your bones ached with the memory of it._

_Then everything stopped._

When you woke up, you could barely breathe, you were in a cold sweat from the dream. Unlike the other nights you didn’t feel any pain, but you did feel a pressure on your chest. It took you a minute to realize it was Bucky, and when you did you tried to genteelly push him off.

That idea backfired quickly. The second you started to move him, James was awake and ready to attack. He pinned you arms above you head with one hand, and with his metal arm he pulled a gun –from only god knows where –out.

“Who are you?” His voice sounded raspier than usual.

“What? James it’s me [y/n].” You said frantically.

You could hear the gun click as his grip on your hands grew tighter. “Why are you here?”

The general confusion in his voice clued you into what was going on. It was his version of an episode. Kind of like the times when you have near panic attack trying to decide if you life was an illusion. Only he has a gun seems more than willing to use it. “I was watching movies with you. You had never seen Star Wars before. Then we came here to play monopoly –I was winning by the way. I’m not trying to hurt you. If you put the gun down, I’ll help you remember.” You were trying your hardest to stay strong for Bucky, but you was still shaken by your newest dream.

He gave you a curious look, and then slowly put his gun back into whatever obscure place he hid it. “I can still break your neck if you try something funny, doll.” He said warningly before he rolled off of you. You stood up and walked over towards the heater. It wasn’t very cold in the room, but why not try it anyway.

You thought back to the tips he gave you. Heater? Check. Not sleeping? Check. Open a wound? Oh this will be fun. You slowly took a step towards Bucky who’s guard was still up. You noticed that the warmer it got the more relaxed the both of you felt. When you finally got to Bucky you slowly offer him your still healing hand. “The other day, you told me to open a wound if I got confused. Will you let me put some pressure on a healing scar or something like that for you?”

Bucky nodded, and gave you his arm. He pulled up his sleeve until you could see a lot bruises and cuts that were healing up. You put your hand around the biggest one and slowly push on it. James gives you no response for a while, but his shoulders began to sag and his breathing was more even. You were just about to stop when an alarm went off.

It sounded exactly like the one that started this whole mess, but more importantly it startled Bucky enough to completely undermine the work you had done to calm him down. He quickly pulled the both of you up, and pushed you against one of your bedroom walls while chocking you.

“What was that?! Tell Me!!” When you didn’t answer –to busy being chocked –he tightened his grip and snarled, “I won’t go back in that box!”

                You tried to push his arm off of you, but it wasn’t working and you were genuinely terrified. “Please stop,” Your voice was weak, but urgent. If he didn’t move his hand from your throat you were going to suffocate. “James… please.”

Everything about him was different. He seemed bigger, and more intimidating than he had when you first met him. Just a couple of days ago you would have described him as the quiet, mysterious creature that had an air of a solider off duty, but now he looked like a killer. And maybe it was just the oxygen depletion, but you would swear that he his eyes had grown visibly darker as well.

Just when you had given up all hope of escaping Bucky’s grip, someone opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This midweek update is an apology for missing a weekly update. Sorry again about that. I also wanted to write this chapter so bad you don't even know. I hope you enjoy, and like always tell me what you think about it.


	14. Murder Kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you handle an out of control soldier and a god of mischief.

“I refuse to have a conversation with these useless twits when the only interesting person I have met in my life it only a few floors above me.” Loki busted through your door ready to argue his point. He hadn’t known you long, but if you were anything like the other people in his life he would have to argue his point for a second of your time. He had expected you to be at his throat trying to get him out of your room. He had not expected someone to be at your throat.

As soon as he realized that you were being chocked, he used his magic to push the attack to the other side of the room. You fell to your needs and tried to catch your breath again. You never thought you would think this, but you were happy Loki was here. _Take note: suffocation leads to clique thinking._

“[y/n] are you alright?” Loki was by your side, helping you to your feet, while he kept Bucky pinned an invisible force. When you didn’t reply, he turned his attention to Bucky.  “Are you insane mortal? [y/n] is not one of your above average humans. She is small and fragile, and you cannot go around chocking her left and right.”

“Loki calm down. He didn’t mean it.” Your throat was still sore, but you could get out that much.

“And I didn’t mean to destroy New York, but I did. Did I not? Or are you forgiving me of those sins as well?” Loki said matter-of-factually. “I don’t know what you connection is to this… thing, but I advise you terminate it before he really hurts you.”

You were about to verbally attack Loki for being so hypocritical about your safety, but one look into his dead serious and deeply concerned eyes and you couldn’t quite muster the anger. _Cute boys are your Achilles heels._ “Not right now. He has some kind of Traumatic Disorder. I just need to calm him down.” Loki was looking at you like you had told him that Beyonce was an Asgardian princess hiding on earth.

“Are you mad? Go call the blonde one to control his pest.” Loki said sneering at Bucky. Bucky growled back.

You took a step towards your night stand, and reached for your purse. You found your pepper spray, and then you took a couple slow steps to where Bucky was being force-held like an episode of Star Wars. “Stop talking Laufey –I mean Loki.” UGGHH you were going to get use to him. “Now Bucky remember me?”

“…”

“We were just having a conversation.”

“…”

“I could try and help you remember why you’re here if you want to.”

“…No.” Well ok then.

“What do you want?”

“…I don’t know.” His stance went from stiff to confuse, just like earlier when you put pressure on his wound.

“If you promise not to hurt me, I’ll get the green bean over there to let you go.” Barnes nodded so you looked to Loki. “Can you let him go?”

“No he’ll hurt you.” Loki said stiffly.

“Please. He promised he wouldn’t,” Loki was still giving you a stubborn look. “I’ll talk to you about the tribute patron thing if you just listen to me, ok?”

Loki finally nodded. “But if he makes a move for you, I will end him.” You knew that Loki had let him go when Bucky stretched his arms. Loki directed his suspicion to Barnes. “Do you hear me rodent? I will kill you.” Bucky gave him a short laugh.

“You wouldn’t be the first to try.” He never stopped looking at you. “What’s in that girl?”

“Pepper spray.” You said quietly. It seemed really useful when you were reaching for it, but when James is looking at you with that empty, chilling look it feels a bit useless. “What are you going to do now James?”

  His intensely blank expression went dark. “Why am I here?”

“We were playing monopoly until Steve got back.”

“Who’s Steve?”

“He’s your friend. Just let me open you wound again. You might remember something.”

He gave you another nod and then walked over to where you were standing, and extended his arm. You decided that the slow burn thing you were doing earlier might be a bit too risky. The alarm was still blaring and anyone can bust in and scare him again.

“I’m going to hurt you a lot –Just a heads up.” You went back to the cut you were working with earlier and covered it with pepper spray. James’ whole body tense, but just like the first time he didn’t really react. You putt both of your hands on the wound and pushed as hard as you could. Bucky held his breath and closed his eyes.

When he opened them, he let out a relieved breathe and grabbed you hand. “That’s good sweetheart. I’m fine now, thank you.” You smile at him and let go. You were going to ask him what happened, but a disgusted look flashed over his face, and he whispered, “…Your neck…”

You tried to play it off, but that wasn’t happening. “It’s fine –a little scarry –but fine now that your fine. You are fine, right? Because I can” Your sore throat wasn’t ready for you to start up your nervous rambling and you went into a coughing fit.

When you stopped coughing, Bucky was back in his corner and looking at you like you were going to murder him in his sleep or something. “You stay right over there sweetheart. Steve will be up in a minute to come and keep you safe.” Oh no. You read about this in your melodramatic romance novels. It’s the ‘save you from me’ complex.

“I can’t with you Barnes. You do realize that the only person in this room that I’m scared of is over at the door blocking my exit.” You said pointing at Loki –who was being surprisingly quite.

“Well he didn’t try and choke you to death. Now did he?”

“He did use me to get himself free, lied about his identity, and then started that stupid alarm again.” You were about done with that alarm. “Are you going to sit in your emo corner and leave me to deal with the literal god of mischief? Now get over here you over eager murder kitten.” Bucky didn’t move until you put both your hands on your hip and started tapping you foot. When he was finally by your side you decided to deal with the next problem at hand.

Loki.

And you promised to talk to him. I guess you could say you played yourself.


	15. The talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Loki finally have a talk. And just as you expected it's hard to stay mad at Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took so long. When summer started, I went through a bit of a depressed slump but I'm back and at it. Hopefully for the long run.  
> Also enjoy your fluff while it lasts.

You took a deep breath and gathered your courage. You had to somehow communicate to Loki how absolutely awful he has made your life without him crushing you between his fingers or giving you his kicked kitten look again.  
“Loki… I don’t want to be your tribr–“  
“We have to terminate our bond immediately.” Loki was looking at his hands as he talked. “Despite popular opinion, I do not intend to hurt you and if I had known of what was going on I would have stopped it sooner.” The look in his eyes was made you want to believe him. “I live a life filled with destruction, and there are people who wish me dead. If they knew of you they would use you to get to me.”  
You were so confused by his words. Why does he care? “You don’t want to have that weak link, right?”  
“Yes!” The bastard, “And as unfortunate as it is, I hold a sort of affect for you. So I need to see how far along our bond is.” At that he made a move for your shirt, and lifted it up so that he could see all the marks that wrapped themselves around you.  
You were surprised at first, and tried to pull your shirt back down, but your gaze caught Loki’s somber expression as he saw the marks across your skin. He looked so sad. You had tried to not to think of it, but you had a suspicion as to what each mark meant.  
In the asgardians myths Loki has a number of children, but none of them end up with a good life. His first three children were deemed monsters one feral wolf, one serpent, and Hel –who is described as half-skull half-woman. And one of his twins was turned into a wolf and shredded the other to peaces so that they could use the deceased twin’s internal organs to bound Loki to a rock for punishment.  
You had tried not to think about it because it would have made you feel sorry for him. And you didn’t want to feel sorry for him. But you knew your suspicions were true the second you looked into his eyes and saw the pain that he was reminded of from the marks on your body. It was the look of a man who lost his family.  
Thankfully Bucky wasn’t plagued by the same emotional turmoil. He knocked Loki’s hands off your shirt, and so you could returned it to its place. “You shouldn’t treat a lady like that.” He said warningly while holding you towards him protectively.  
Loki immediately recovered from his stoic mood, “Oh yes, and strangling the girl is much better.” You felt Bucky stiffen up, and break his hold. Loki kept on talking as if hadn’t just verbally bitch slapped one of the world’s deadliest assasins. “[y/n] our bond is deep. Deeper than I imagined it would be, but we have time to break it.”  
“Thor mentioned that tribute have to accept food, shelter and other stuff from their patron. From his description it seems the only thing that we haven’t checked off the list is me fighting in your honor.” Loki nodded his head thoughtfully while you talked.  
“I think it is best if we go through the process of breaking out bond. For asgardians its nearly painless, but other species can take it quite hard. It’s the reason I have never done it. It appears that I am only part asgardians, and if situation like this arose I would have to go thorough great pains to right the wrongs.” Loki seemed to like his plan, but all of a sudden his face went instantly dark. “It will hurt me, but I have no idea what it will do to you.”  
“Then you won’t do it.” Bucky said strongly. You had to agree. You were about to comment on how underdeveloped his plan was, but than a thought came to your mind. Where are the other Avengers.  
“Loki where is the rest of Bucky’s friends?”  
“Outside the door. I enchanted it so that we could talk.”  
“Seriously Laufey! I-I means Loki.”  
“Yes ‘seriously.’ We need to have this conversation, and there is no way it would happen if they could find us. If I am being honest, I would have enchanted the brute with the metal arm. However, you seem fond of him.” You swore you could hear a slight growl in your throat. “Despite his fondness of hurting you. And I am just doing what it takes for us to have that conversation.”  
“Un-enchant the door this instant!”  
“No.”  
“Why not?”  
“We aren’t done here.” Loki frustrated to say the least. “I came here to say something, AND I INTEND TO DO JUST THAT!”  
“WELL SPIT IT OUT!” Bucky growled as he moved to block me from Loki’s obvious mood.  
“I AM SORRY!” The three of you froze for a second. “I did not mean to tie your life towards mine and the path we take from here may be extremely painful for you.” His initial bravado melted away as he continued. “At first you were just another pond, but after the time I’ve had to get to know you, I have realized that humans have –you have –a purpose outside of my plans.”  
After Loki finished, he gave you a sincere kicked kitten look. It took everything in you not to give in at that moment and forgive him. The only thing stopping you was Bucky. You could feel his gaze on you, and it made you think. If you forgave Loki so easily despite his villainous ways, that would mean you were simply too nice. Maybe the things in his life that you have paid no mind to weren’t because you could see the good in him, but because you made it your business to forgive the evil in others.  
So you held your ground –if only for Bucky. “Sorry isn’t going to fix the things you did, Loki. You hurt people and felt no remorse. It might not have been your will, but I know that you felt nothing for the people that you had to step on to get here, and I can’t forgive that.” The look on his face grew even more desperate. “If you want my forgiveness, you have to earn it.... Now un-enchant the door.”  
There was another moment of silence before Loki slowly lifted his hands and with a flick of his wrist the enchantment fell. You could tell because the second the spell was gone, Steve came busting threw the door shield in hand and team behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always feel free to leave a comment in the description to correct me or to tell me your opinions. Most times these comments remind me that people actually care to hear the story that only I can tell. So don't hold back!!


	16. Earn it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have moved fast since you met Loki, and it seems that the closer he is to you the quicker a mess starts. i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I was going to try and update more regularly so here I am. I finally found my drive and plot to this story and i hope its good.  
> Please do tell me if you catch a mistake in my work or continuation problems. I do want to fix them. Thank you to everyone still enjoying this work.

_Why doesn’t he just accept me?_

_You were in an asgardians arena. There was a sword in your left hand and a dagger in your right. The person across from you had an on slaughter of medieval tools of war,  and he was playing the crowd from their affection._

_No one in the crowd would show you affection if you tried. To them you were just the second rate unlucky prince that has nothing but tricks to the name. So you will use your tricks and win your battle and earn none of the love or respect that anyone else gets from these tests of strength._

_While your opponent is making another round so that he can fully enjoy the love of the crowd, you were watching him move. Every flex was a tell tale sign to his downfall, and by the time Father silenced the crowd and started the battle, you knew all you needed to know to take him down._

_The only thought in your head was the words of your Father before your first fight. “Loki you are a prince. My kingdom must be able to trust the royal family, but that trust can’t just be given. **You have to earn it.”**_

****

You woke up feeling three types of pain. The first was the physical pain of your newest flesh wound. As you bandage the newest wound, this one was smaller than the others, your mind began to wonder to the other two pains.

The second pain was the feeling of worthlessness the came with several lifetimes of distrust and jealously. You knew that wasn’t your feelings because you had a loving parents and a peaceful childhood, and yet you could feel the trauma of abuse you haven’t experienced. It was this experience that resulted in your next pain.

You regretted what you said to Loki. While you strongly believed in what you said, you could have delivered the message differently. You had every intention of giving him time to earn your trust. It had haunted you while finished dressing you wound and walked back towards Bucky’s bed.

The avengers thought it was best for you to sleep in another room while Loki was in their custody. So you decided to bunk with the super soldiers. James was sleeping on the couch near the TV while Steve snoring on the top bunk of the bed you were about to get in. When the enchantment fell, Loki went peacefully with them to his proper cell with the condition that I would visit him sometime during his stay. You had planned to go tomorrow, but with the sudden wave of memories you couldn’t keep yourself away.

You decided to walk down in your pajamas, but the tower had a slight chill to it this night so you grabbed one of the boy’s jackets as you walked out of the room. You wondered down the hallway towards the elevator where you had met Loki earlier that day. You traveled down to the level where Bruce’s lab was at with the intention to wonder the hallways until you found him.

However, before the elevator stopped on your floor you hear Loki’s familiar honey sweet voice in your ear. “You are here quickly.”

You spoke out loud –not quite sure how this magic stuff worked, –“Don’t patronize me Loki. Where are you?”

Loki patiently instructed me around corners, through doors, and eventually to the same cell that he had originally tricked me in. It was strangely disorienting that my memories of that first journey through these hallways were so skewered.

“Why are you hear [y/n]?” Loki was trying to look annoyed, but you could see that he was happy to see you so soon. He had also stopped communicating telepathically.

“I had a dream,” the happiness in his face quickly faded. “I’m assuming it was another memory.” The silence that followed your confession was intimidating and awkward.

“This transfer of memories is quite imbalanced.” Loki said. “You receive my life’s story and uncensored feelings while I receive nothing. What did you see? What have you seen?”

You sighed. “I saw you in an arena fighting in a tournament for your father’s affection. Your father told you that his trust had to be earned.” Loki nodded silently while you talked. “That is not what I meant when I said you had to earn my trust. I had every intention of giving you a chance. It won’t be a endless battle of constantly proving yourself. But I will need you to bring me evidence that you have changed.”

Loki smiled as you spoke, but it was a real as his earlier annoyance. “How can I prove something like that?” You simply shrugged. “Well… in the mean time tell me more.”

You rambled on about the memories you had received from him and, after Loki begging became insufferable, you told him some of your memories to even out the ‘imbalanced’ bond Loki claimed we had. Every now and again Loki would say something snarky and you would laugh. As time passed you ran out of memories to share so you began asking Loki about mythology.

He rambled on about family meetings and misunderstandings. For example he was trying to seduce one of the court maidens, and her favorite plant was mistletoe. He had planed to shot some mistletoe through her window with a love letter attached, however, his aunt wanted to test to see if she had weapon proofed her baby by throwing deadly weapons at him. One of his family memories asked for an arrow and Loki told him to take whichever one he wanted. The fool took the arrow Loki had mistletoe and shot it at his younger cousin killing him.

Everyone accused Loki of purposefully killing his own cousin, but it was a series of unfortunate mistakes that he did not plan. But he wasn’t without his blame.

He once tricked Thor into dressing like a woman and getting engaged on a dare from his acquaintance Sif. Thor had killed a great number of wedding attendees, but according to Loki he looked dashing in his dress. You were thrilled by his stories, and every now and again he would create a small illusion in his cage to help illustrate a point.

It was in the middle of Loki’s story about how he had given birth to an eight legged horse when you hear something clank in the hallway outside. You hushed Loki while you tried to hear what it was. “Steve… Bucky!” Neither one responded, but the sound grew closer. “I came down to talk to Loki. You did promise him that I could talk to him.”

When no one answered, you started to get nervous. You weren’t the only one. “[y/n] I advise you stop talking to the shadows and find a place to hide.” Loki whispered. You frantically searched the small room, but there was no place to hide. You were starting to panic again while Loki was calmly talking to you.

It didn’t take long for the noise to grow, and you had given up trying to hid when there was no place to, and had instead pushed yourself against the glass of Loki’s cage while he continued to whisper calmly to you. When the noise stopped you turned around to look at the source. In the doorway was a creature had seen only twice before, once from the attack on New York that lead to you apartment’s destruction and another from Loki’s memories.

When Loki saw the creature, he started calmly telling you to open the door so he could protect you. At first you had walked slowly towards his cell door, but then something clicked.

Loki was playing you. Again. After the shared stories and laughs, he was attempting to trick you again.

“[y/n] open the cell.” He said calmly while your hands were on the latch.

“I can’t believe you would do this again.” There was a look of confusion on Loki’s face before he realized what you meant. You paid no mind to the creature at the door and walked towards it.

“[Y/n] come back here. This isn’t what it looks like.” Loki was frantically beating at the glass, but you paid him no mind. “STOP RIGHT NOW... Stop”

Loki’s illusions were truly amazing. As you walked closer to the door the air filled with an otherworldly stink that almost made you believe that he wasn’t lying. The alien was also focused on you. You couldn’t tell how you knew, but it was. Or at least Loki made you think it was. You were almost at the door, and you were beginning to falter, but you would not let Loki win this time.

When you were shoulder to shoulder with the frightening illusion, it reached out and grabbed you. His grip was steel, and you knew you had made a mistake. While Loki’s yelling was muffled by his cell, the scream you let out traveled through the whole tower. The Chitari covered your screams and pulled you into the darkness it had came from.

The last thing you saw was Loki frantically banging on the cell yelling you name. The last thing you did was pull on that telepathic powers to tell him something important. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.”


	17. listen to your voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know you all want to know what happened to you, so off course this is not the chapter for that. Instead let's visit our tortured dark haired love... good old Bucky.

Bucky couldn’t sleep. Nothing unusual, it was just a fact at this point. It was why he had freely given you his bed. He wasn’t going to use it anyway so what was the point of hogging it.   
Instead of sleeping Bucky had laid on the couch watching TV. until he thought it would keep you awake. Even after the t.v. shut off he was wide awake. Instead of watching TV, he listened to you while you slept. It sounded creepy, Bucky was aware, but he knew that you were having nightmares, and he was hoping to catch you before you hurt yourself again.  
So far you had sleep quite peacefully. After a while Bucky could feel his own breath lining up to yours. It was relaxing. Before he had even noticed he was drifting off to sleep, and he couldn’t seem to stop himself.   
Bucky knew exactly where he was…. Or did he?  
There was always something eerily familiar about the places he visited in his dreams. Every building reminded him of something that he knew, but the names refused to come to him. Like this room was definitely hydra owned –or maybe it was one of the undercover shield facilities –and nothing good came from Hydra. He could tell from the pit black walls, and the dimly light bulb. It lacked windows, and he appearently vents too, because he was as hot in his battle gear.   
Tonight he was holding a revolver. It was shiny, like most of his weapons were when he first emerged from his frigid sleep. The sun from a window, that he wasn’t sure had been there seconds ago, gave off a dazzling gleam that had almost made the gun beautiful.   
He was pointing the gun at girl. She looked to be around nine. Even though he held the gun steady in his hands she didn’t seem afraid of him. The look in her eyes were scorching him with hatred. He didn’t know what he had done to her, but he knew that he deserved that look. He also knew that she wouldn’t be hating him for long.   
He pulled the trigger.   
When he pulled the trigger the young girl fell to the ground. Next to her was a woman that looked just like her, but only a few years older. Maybe they were sisters. Behind he saw a man who shared their eyes. Only his eyes were a dull brown with no emotions behind it. He probably died first.   
He had gone to look at the girl again. But her body was gone. Instead he saw you lying on the ground near his feet. There was blood on your clothes and tears in your eyes. In a panic he reached for you.  
Why were you bleeding? Had he done this?  
When he touched you it wasn’t to stop the bleeding or check your pulse. His hands had a life of their own, and before he knew it his hands were around your neck. He tried desperately to stop himself. You tried to pry his hands off, but neither one of you could stop him.   
He watched as your eyes, like the family only seconds before you, slowly lost their life.   
Bucky woke up in a cold sweat. He didn’t know what he saw in his dream, but he did remember you. He remembers strangling you like he had earlier that day. He tried to shake the feeling his dream had given him, but he couldn’t. There was a certain level of helplessness that he felt in his dreams that reminded him too much of the past 70 years of his life.  
He didn’t like feeling helpless, and he didn’t like to feel like he was a danger to someone’s life. That’s why he chose to room with Steve. At least he could defend himself if, Bucky lost it. He had to get out of the room before he hurt you. He tried to calm himself down so that he wouldn’t make too much noise when he left so he decided to listen to your breathing again. That’s when he noticed that the only thing he could hear was Steve’s unnatural snorting, and his own practically silent breaths.   
Where were you?   
His jacket was gone too.   
Completely forgetting his earlier worries, Bucky sprang off of the coach. “Jarvis where is {y/n}?” Jarvis was unusually quiet. “Jarvis?”  
When the AI didn’t answer, he knew something was up. He left the room with the intent to track you down. He looked for any signs for where you went including: tables that were moved slightly out of place, papers on the floor that weren’t there a couple hours before. Tilted pictures from where your hands felt their way from Point A to Point B. The trail led him down the elevator to the same floor Loki was being held.   
Not the best of signs.   
Bucky sprinted towards Loki’s cell. When he reached the end of the hallway he could hear the two of them talking. You were telling Loki about your first boyfriend in high school, and what you did to him when you found out that he cheated on you. Bucky breathed deeply while he listened to you talk from the shadows. Bucky had learned in his time after he met Steve that he used his spy techniques as a way to make him feel more familiar with a situation.  
So he continued to eavesdrop on your conversation with Loki. Bucky took the time to calm down. The uneasiness from the dream was slowly being cured by the sound of your voice. Bucky could hear your smiles and feel your happiness through the sound of your voice, and if he closed his eyes he could imagine himself the fortunate fellow that you wanted to share you life story with. However, he was rudely awaken whenever you got too excited and you started coughing.   
It reminded him that you couldn’t even enjoy your talk because d he had strangled you. He shouldn’t be close to you because he couldn’t be trusted. In fact he should leave now and send Steve to watch you. That’s what he should do, and that’s what he’ll do right now. As he walked down hallways and turned corners the helpless feeling grew stronger.   
By the time Bucky reached the elevator he was almost paralyzed with the selfish need to go hid back in his shadow and listen to your voice until he fell asleep again. Maybe if you were still their talking while he slept, his dreams would be more peaceful. Bucky has spent the past seventy years in constant pain being torture, and the aching feeling in his body as he pushed the elevator button was nothing new.   
It wasn’t until the elevator doors closed that Bucky heard Loki’s banging and your muffled screams of terror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I have been in major writing block. God it's been to long. I hope any readers still following this story can forgive me and have enjoyed the new chapter.


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